


Guns, Blades and a Dash of Science

by smileynerd256



Series: Space Buddies AU [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst and Humor, Blood, Gen, Grunkle Ford's Portal Adventures, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Platonic Relationships, Portal Travel, Serious Injuries, Spoilers - Journal 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 19:03:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 38,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7769479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smileynerd256/pseuds/smileynerd256
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sophie thinks she found the perfect pinnacle to her bounty-hunting career: capturing Stanford Pines. What she doesn't expect to find is a friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings, people of the internet! I've been writing stuff for years, but never had the guts to publish anything until now. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it! I'm really obsessed with Gravity Falls; this is a product of that. Please review, if you feel so inclined! :)
> 
> Edit: If you're rereading this story, you may notice a few differences in some of the chapters. That's because I just couldn't leave this thing alone, so I went through the story and fixed a few plotholes, characterization mistakes, continuity errors, etc. It's cross-posted on fanfiction.net under the same username. Happy reading! :D

     Sophie froze at the sound of mixed voices. She ducked behind a tree and swung up in the branches to get a better view. A few yards away, a black-clad human with gray hair that seemed to defy gravity was surrounded by a mixture of sentient beings all pointing their weapons at him. He held up six-fingered hands in surrender. Sophie’s eyes widened. He was older, but…she recognized him from his wanted posters. Stanford Pines, armed and dangerous. Some dimensions were willing to pay a pretty penny for his capture, something he had evaded for nearly 30 years. This would be an interesting challenge…

 

     “Your valuables or your life,” rasped a lizard-like creature.

 

     Sophie dug around in her pack, hoping to cause a distraction. If she turned this guy in, the reward money would last her for months.  

 

     “I have nothing that you want,” Stanford replied.

 

     “Seize him!” hissed the lizard. The bandits grabbed Stanford’s arms and forced him to his knees.

 

     Sophie's fingers clasped around the handle of a megaphone. Perfect. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you!” she boomed in the deepest voice she could muster.

 

     The bandits paused, looking around in fear. “Who said that?” cried their leader.

 

     “It is I, Kardosia, the goddess of the blade! The one who you now try to oppress has found favor with me! Release him, or I shall release you from life!” Sophie stifled a laugh at the bandits’ fearful expressions.

 

     One of them, a giant weasel, spoke up. “I’ve never heard of you before, goddess! Show yourself!”

 

     “I do not reveal my form to mere mortals! Release that man, or I will reveal myself in the blades that end your lives! That is my final answer!”

 

     The bandits hesitated. Some of them began to step back. Sophie drew a knife from her belt and threw it at the weasel that had spoken up. It sunk into his chest up to the handle, a perfect hit. He fell without a sound.

 

     The other bandits panicked. “The goddess’s wrath! Quick, run, before she destroys us all!” They fled, leaving Stanford alone.

 

     He took out a leather-bound book and pen and looked around excitedly. “Uh, goddess, if you really are a goddess, I would like to ask you a few questions…if you don’t mind.”

 

     Sophie rolled her eyes and swung down from the tree. “Jeez, you fell for it too? I must have been really convincing.” She smirked at Stanford’s surprised expression.

 

     “How did you project your voice like that?”

 

     “Easy, I had a megaphone.”

 

     Stanford lifted an eyebrow. “You carry a megaphone with you all the time?”

 

     Sophie shrugged. “I carry lots of things. My bag is bigger on the inside.”

 

     “Incredible! Where did you learn to throw a knife like that?”

 

     “Gosh, so many questions! How about a thanks for saving your life?”

 

     “Well, thanks…but I did have a plan.”

 

     Sophie snorted. “That’s not what I saw. They were going to drag you off, take anything valuable you might have had, and probably turn you over to the slave market or something. Oh, and fun fact about lizard people: they can smell valuables. So either that thing strapped to your back is really precious, or you have diamonds in your pockets.” She pulled her knife out of the weasel’s corpse and wiped off the blade.

 

     Stanford was busy scribbling on his...well, to be honest it looked like a diary. “How did you find that out about lizard people?”

 

     This “legendary man” was turning out to be a huge nerd. “Is interrogative the only type of sentence you know how to speak?”

 

     Ford frowned. “No, I’m just curious about you. At least tell me your name.”

 

     Sophie sighed. “My name is Sophie, but don’t go around telling people that.”

  
     “I’m Ford.”

 

Interesting choice of nickname. “Nice to meet you, Ford.” Sophie reached out for a handshake.

 

Ford just stuck his book in his coat. “I--don’t shake hands.”

 

“Hm, okay. So, where were you headed before those jerks tried to rob you?”

 

“Just up the road.”

 

“Ever been to this dimension before?”

 

Ford stepped back. “How do you know that I’m not from this dimension?”

 

“I’ve been here for weeks, and you’re the first human I’ve seen. Plus, you’re wearing way too many layers for this kind of environment.”

 

Ford rested a hand on the gun at his hip. “Why did you stop those bandits?”

 

Sophie shrugged. “Eh, I would have helped anyone out of a bind like that.” _Anyone with a good bounty on them._

 

“Well, um, thank you. But I should be on my way.”

 

“If you’re looking for the nearest wormhole, I can help you out.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah, there was one back there a few weeks ago. It’s still there, if my little doohicky that detects wormholes is working right.”

 

“Where did you get that? I had to build mine from scratch.”

 

“Oh, someone gave it to me.” Involuntarily. Technically it was stolen, but Ford didn’t need to know the details. “Wait a minute, you built yours? So what, you’re some kind of genius?”

 

Ford seemed a little flustered. “I just know a lot about tweaking technology.”

 

“Cool. By the way, we should probably head out now before those bandits realize that I’m not a goddess. Plus, it takes a couple of days to get to that wormhole hot spot.”

 

“Right, yes.” Ford paused when Sophie walked beside him. “I can find my own way from here, thanks.”

 

“Oh, come on. You look like you could use some company. Plus, I can help keep you from getting robbed again.”

 

Ford snorted. “I can take care of myself. Even if you hadn’t showed up, I could have gotten away somehow. It’s not as if I haven’t been captured before.”

 

“Yeah, but you would have been robbed at the very least. And at worst those bandits would have taken you into the woods and shot you before you could carry out any escape plan. Did you think of that, smart guy?”

 

“Oh, believe me, I would have escaped. I’ve been in worse binds and gotten out just fine.”

 

“Well all the same, I’ll just keep you company for at least a few days.”

 

“As much as I would appreciate the company, it’s too dangerous.”

 

Sophie raised her eyebrows. “Excuse me?”

 

“I’m constantly on the move and well, you saw what happened just a few minutes ago. I’m in enough danger as it is, and I wouldn’t want harm to come to you because you’re traveling with me.”

 

Sophie put her hands on her hips. “Listen up, smart guy. I’ve been dimension hopping on my own for four years, since I was twelve. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m still alive. Also in case you haven’t noticed, I just saved your butt. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that two is always better than one in a fight. If you’re so concerned about my safety, how about you let me come along with you at least until you get to that wormhole. Capiche?”

 

Ford let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine.”

 

“And if I do get in trouble, you can just blame me, because I insisted on coming with you.”

 

“Fair enough.” Ford walked on in silence.

 

Sophie pushed away her frustration at being treated like a child to focus on coming up with a good plan to turn Ford in. Physical force wouldn’t work. Sophie was strong, but Ford was a good head taller than she was. She would have to use trickery. Then there was the question of where. Hopefully the wormhole she came through would take them back to the dimension she’d been to before. She stole some glances of Ford, and at the huge case strapped across his back that Sophie assumed was for a gun. “So, what kind of gun is that?”

 

Ford shook his head as if startled from his own thoughts. “It’s a quantum destabilizer, designed to disassemble the molecules of any kind of being.”

 

“Wow, what are you planning to kill?”

 

“Bill.” Ford spat out the name like a curse.

 

“Oh, you mean that annoying demon that’s shaped like a corn chip?”

 

“Yes. He tried to use me to destroy my home dimension. I’ve been searching for years for a way to stop him. I just need to find the right parts for this weapon and Bill is a goner.”

 

“You need parts, eh?” An idea began to form in Sophie’s scheming mind. “The dimension we’re heading into has a black market, and depending on what you need, I might be able to hook you up with some connections.”

 

Ford’s face lit up so much that Sophie almost felt guilty. “That sounds great! That would definitely speed up the process.”

 

They spent the rest of the evening with Ford listing what parts he would need and Sophie half listening and half plotting how to turn Ford in without him realizing it before it was too late…and without getting caught herself. They found a grove of trees to camp in and built a small fire. Ford took first watch, and Sophie drifted into a fitful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a link to a messy pencil drawing of Sophie if you want to see what she looks like.
> 
> http://smileynerd256.tumblr.com/image/148998522934
> 
> Edit:  
> The above link is basically concept art of Sophie. Here's what she actually looks like:  
> https://smileynerd256.tumblr.com/image/160422139434


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter. I will make a valiant effort to update once a week, but no guarantees.

“ _Run, we’re right behind you!”_

_Sophie glanced back at her family, her dad’s voice sounding above the chaos. The ground quaked and everything was glitching like a TV with a bad connection. Sophie ran towards a rift tearing through the fabric of reality. She turned back, expecting to see her family behind her. They were on the other side of a huge crack in the earth. She cried out to them, but her voice was lost in the cacophony of a world tearing apart. The ground gave way beneath them and they tumbled into the void below..._

Sophie woke with a gasp. There was a hand on her shoulder. Her mind instantly switched into defense mode. Judging by the angle of the grip, the enemy was behind her. She yanked out a knife and whirled around to skewer her assailant, only to be stopped by a strong grip on her wrist. She twisted away and slashed at the enemy, only to have them dodge and fall back.

“Sophie! Sophie, calm down, it was just a dream!”

Sophie paused and focused her sleep-glazed eyes on the face of the figure in front of her. She knew that voice…“Ford?”

“Yes, that’s it, it’s only me.” He looked concerned. The light from the small fire flickered across his weathered face.

Sophie slowly lowered her knife. She felt dampness on her cheeks and angrily wiped away the tears, humiliated that Ford had seen her so vulnerable.

“Are you okay?”

Sophie sat with her knees to her chest and folded her arms. “I’m fine.” She hated how her voice quivered.

“Are you sure?”

“It was just a dumb dream, I’ll get over it.”

“If you insist.”

Sophie checked her watch. “I can take lookout duty for the rest of the night. You should try to get some sleep.”

“Sophie are you sure--”

“I’m fine!”

Ford grunted and rolled up with his back to the fire. Sophie stared into the darkness, trying to forget her family’s terrified faces as they were swallowed up by a giant crack in the earth. She had jumped through a rift into the nightmare realm right before the whole thing collapsed completely. Sometimes she wondered if she would rather have died with her family instead of traveling the multiverse alone, becoming an outlaw and a bounty hunter just to survive.

A small part of herself was starting to have second thoughts about turning Ford in. He was the first human she had seen in months, and he had been so gentle and concerned just now…no, she couldn’t allow herself to think like that. She had turned in other outlaws before and she could do it again, even if this guy was a fellow human. It would be business as usual. After all, nice people didn’t survive.

\---------------

"Cover up, shut up, and don’t do anything that looks suspicious.” Sophie pulled up her hood and secured her scarf around her face.

“I’ve been dimension hopping longer than you have, kid. I know the drill.” Ford already had his scarf and goggles in place.

“Whatever, just let me do the talking. I know these guys; they should be able to get you the part you need.” Sophie was lucky. The wormhole took her and Ford straight back to where she’d been staying before. She had spent a few months here, collecting bounties and getting to know the different crime circles, which ones tried to rip you off, which ones tried to murder you rather than pay you, and which ones actually gave you a decent price and left you alone. She’d had to leave because some goons from the second group had been hunting her. Hopefully that had died down in the month or so that she had spent in the other dimension. She had stayed near the wormhole to locate and take out anyone who dared to try hunting her down.

They navigated through narrow, dusty streets to a colony of outlying camps on the edge of the city. Sophie felt sweat trickle down her back and wished she could take her heavy clothes off. But it was too great of a risk. There were wanted posters everywhere, and Sophie knew that her face was on a few of them.

Finally they reached the camp Sophie was looking for, walled in with a tall wooden fence topped with barbed wire. Ford put a hand on her shoulder. “My dimensional translator isn’t working. Is yours?”

Sophie touched her earpiece. “No. Some camps have radio waves that scramble translators so they can rip people off more easily. But don’t worry; these guys are okay, and I know the language. You’ll need to wait here; their leader only allows one visitor at a time.”

Ford frowned. “That sounds like a trap.”

“Like I said, I’ve dealt with these guys before. Several times.”

“Just…be careful.”

Sophie rolled her eyes as she walked up to the four-armed guard. She spoke a few words in the guttural language they used, which basically translated to, “I need to speak with your leader, Bonzo. I have a deal that will interest him.”

The guard grunted something that meant, “Follow me.”

Sophie entered the camp and was immediately surrounded by armed guards. She’d dealt with Bonzo before. He seemed a decent guy…well, as decent as a crime lord could get. She tried not to feel bad for what she was about to do as the guards escorted her to a large tent were Bonzo, a four-armed, pot-bellied cross between an ogre and a sumo wrestler, sat on large throne. She bowed, as was the custom, until Bonzo bade her rise and asked what deal she offered.

She forced a nagging feeling to the back of her mind. “I have found Stanford Pines, the six-fingered human who has evaded capture for nearly thirty years. I--I tricked him, and he now stands outside of your camp. Your guards can verify the truth of my statement.”

“Ah, and what price do you ask for turning him in?”

“Ninety eight percent of the bounty.”

The room fell into a long silence. Bonzo let out a deep, grating chuckle. “I have a better deal.”

Sophie was used to haggling. “And what deal is that?” Suddenly, the guards grabbed her arms and pinned them behind her.

Bonzo sneered. “I turn you both in, and keep all of the bounty.”

“Wha--what?”

“Come now, do you really think I wouldn’t recognize your Earthling accent and human mannerisms in the many times that you’ve been here? You have been very useful to me, but the Federation of dimension 522 Alpha is willing to pay dearly for your pretty face. I know who you are, Sophia Kardos.”

Sophie felt a flash of rage. “You--you traitor!”

Bonzo laughed. “I’m a crime lord, what did you expect? I must admit, I expected more of the “fearsome little warrior” that was supposedly so hard to capture. And now that I have your six-fingered friend as well…” he smiled, showing pointed teeth, “I’ll finally have the respect I deserve.” He snapped his fingers. “Put this human with the other goods, and secure the six-fingered male as well. Make sure they don’t escape.”

Sophie kicked and struggled against the guards as they dragged her off. That only earned her a punch in the gut that drove the air from her lungs. She gasped for breath as the guards threw her into a tent and tied her to the center pole. Her weapons were taken away and she was left to curse how stupid she’d been to trust a crime lord. Of course he would find out who she was. Of course he would go for the bounty. Who wouldn’t? She had been stupid to come back to this dimension, too focused on greed to remember common sense.

Sophie’s thoughts wandered. Where was Ford? Probably tied up in a different tent. A missed opportunity. Now Bonzo would get all the glory for capturing the elusive Stanford Pines. A tiny part of her felt bad for trying to turn him in. He hadn’t been bad company, really…she pushed those thoughts away. She had to survive in the multiverse somehow. Her thoughts grew hazy as her adrenaline wore off and the tent grew hotter from the planet’s twin suns. She was so tired…

Sophie jerked awake when she heard a thud. It was dark outside. She tried to twist around to see who or what was coming through the tent door. She tensed when she felt them crouch down behind her.

“Sophie?” whispered a familiar voice.

Sophie’s mind reeled. “What th--Ford? Wha--what are you doing here?”

“Helping you escape, what does it look like?” Sophie felt Ford working at the ropes around her wrists.

“What? No, save yourself. Just get out of here.”

“Not without you. You did me a favor, and now I’m returning it.”

“You owe me nothing! Seriously, just--save yourself. I can escape on my own.”

Ford pulled the rope off Sophie’s wrists. “No time to argue, just come with me.”

“But--how did you even get in here? How did you escape?”

“They never caught me. When the guards came without you, I knew something was off. I fought them and escaped.” Ford pulled out Sophie’s pack and weapon belts. “Here, you might want these.”

“What, how did you--”

“No time to explain. Follow me.” Ford grabbed Sophie’s wrist and they sneaked out of the tent, past the unconscious guard. Sophie allowed Ford to lead her along, still shocked at what was happening. They had reached the edge of the camp when the alarm was raised.

Sophie looked up at the wall. It was at least ten feet high. “How did you get over this?”

“I took out the guard with a sleeping dart and came in through the front.”

Sophie gaped. “You just walked through the front door? Never mind, we can’t go out that way. Here, give me a boost.”

“But there’s barbed wire.”

“That’s why I have clippers.” Sophie took a pair out of her pack. Ford laced his fingers together and and gave Sophie a leg up. Sophie put one hand on Ford’s shoulder for balance and used the other one to cut the wire. Shouts and heavy footsteps grew louder with every second.

“Hurry, they’re getting closer.”

“I know.” Sophie quickly cleared a gap in the wire. “Got it!” She gripped the top of the fence and Ford gave her a little push so she could swing a leg over the edge. She swung her other leg over and dropped to the ground. Ford followed a few seconds later. “We need to split up. If they see us together it will be a dead giveaway. We can meet at the wormhole that we came through.”

Ford shook his head. “I’m not letting you out of my sight after what happened today.”

Sophie was slightly confused. “That’s--real sweet, but not a good plan.”

“As I recall, your plan was to trust these savages. With or without me, they’ll recognize you the second they see you. I’m sticking around whether you like it or not.”

“Fine! Then follow me.” Sophie ran away from Bonzo’s camp with Ford trailing behind. They wove between the camps until they got to the city. Sophie paused, putting a hand over her bruised stomach as she caught her breath.

“Are you alright?” asked Ford, concerned.

“Yeah,” she gasped. “We need the stay on the outskirts. I have a place that might work for tonight.” Sophie led Ford through alleys and side streets until they entered an abandoned warehouse with huge sheets of metal, tables and piles of rubbish strewn about. Graffiti in all sorts of languages covered the walls. Sophie picked her way through a few rooms to a certain corner. She dragged a table off a floor panel and slid it open to reveal a square cubby with a pile of blankets in the corner.

“I thought I’d never come back to this place.” Sophie jumped down and landed with a thud. “It’s a little cramped for two people, but it beats getting caught.” Ford climbed in, replaced the panel behind him and turned on a small blue light.  
“How did you find this?”

“I was desperate. The panel was displaced when I found this, so I just got inside and put it back. No one found me.”

“Do you have these sorts of places in every dimension you’ve been to?”

“Not really.”

“How many have you been to?”

“A few. Not that many.”

“I see. So you haven’t been dimension hopping that long, then?”

“About four years. How long have you been at it?” Sophie knew, but she didn’t want to make Ford suspicious.

Ford let out a weary sigh. “Too long.”

“Hmm.”

Ford pulled a bottle out of his coat pocket. He screwed off the cap and the sharp smell of alcohol filled the air.

“If you drink that liquid stupidity I’ll kick you out of here and you’ll have to find you own hideout.”

“Don’t worry, I’m just using this as an antiseptic.” He took a cloth out of his pocket and poured a bit of alcohol on it. Sophie noticed that his left hand was bleeding.

“Did the barbed wire get you?”

“Something like that.”

“I still don’t get why you came back for me. You could have just left me behind. That’s what I would have done.” _That’s what I had planned to do_.

Ford winced as he cleaned the cut on his hand.“Well, that makes the second time you put yourself in danger because of me. I couldn’t just leave you there. And…I still needed those parts, which they did end up having.”

“Is that how you found my weapons?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, well…next time something like that happens, just save yourself. I can usually escape on my own.”

“Just yesterday you insisted that two is better than one.”

Sophie lowered her gaze. “Yeah, well...” She couldn’t think of a comeback to that. “Do you need help bandaging that?” She pointed to Ford’s hand.

“Hmm? Oh, no, it’s fine. I’ve done this before.” Ford wrapped a bandage around his hand and cut the end with a knife. Sophie watched him struggle to tie it.

“At least let me help you with the knot.”

Ford struggled to tie the bandage a few more times before finally letting Sophie take over. As soon as she was done, he folded his arms and hid his hands. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Sophie studied Ford’s posture. “You don’t have to be so self-conscious about your fingers, you know.”

Ford clenched his jaw. “I’m not.”

“You’re deliberately hiding them.”

Ford ignored her.

“Where I come from, red hair is a really rare genetic mutation, kinda like your fingers. I was called all sorts of nicknames when I was younger.”

Ford lifted an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah. Personally, I think it’s cool that you have twelve fingers. It just means that you’re two fingers better than everyone else.”

Ford smiled. “That’s what my brother used to tell me.”

“You have a brother?”

“Had.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Sophie fingered a locket around her neck. “I had a brother, too.”

Ford looked at her with interest. “What happened to him?”

“He--he was trapped in my home dimension when it was destroyed. I escaped through a rift but everyone else…” Sophie shook her head.

“I’m sorry.”

“Eh, it’s not your fault. What happened to you brother?”

“We--had a fight, and as a result I ended up being pushed through an inter-dimensional portal into the Nightmare Realm.”

“Jeez, that’s..rough. Do you know if he’s still alive?”

“Whether he is or not, I’ll never see him again.”

“Wow. I guess we’re kind of in the same boat, huh?”

“In that regard, yes.”

A silence hung between them. Sophie was amazed at how much she had in common with this man...who, if she’d had her way, would be tied up at Bonzo’s camp. She felt a strange, heavy feeling in her chest. It made her uncomfortable. She broke the silence. “Whelp, I’m going to get some shut-eye. We probably won’t need to keep watch tonight. I doubt anyone will find this place.”

“Yes, you’re probably right. Good night, Sophie.”

Sophie stiffened. No one had told her good night for a long time. “Uh, good night, Ford.” Sophie closed her eyes, but sleep wouldn’t come. She realized that the strange, heavy feeling was guilt.


	3. Chapter 3

By morning, Sophie had made up her mind: she would stick with Ford and actually help him with his death ray. She barely remembered the Nightmare Realm; just a fuzzy flash of yellow, Bill’s laughter, and a feeling of paralyzing fear. She had learned more about the psychopathic demon bent on universal dominion during her travels. She had been too distracted with the prospect of collecting Ford’s bounty to pay much attention to his vendetta against Bill, but now the more she thought about it, the more she wanted to help. Plus, she would feel less guilty about trying to turn Ford in.

Sophie and Ford used the blankets from their hideout to mask their human shapes and escaped back to the forested dimension. They shed their disguises and hid them after traveling a new direction away from the wormhole for about half a mile. Sophie was lost in her thoughts when Ford spoke up.

“Sophie, I’ve been thinking.”

Sophie tensed. Ford’s agreement to only travel with her to get the parts for his quantum death ray had been weighing on her mind. “Yes?”

“You have some admirable skill with those blades of yours, and although things didn’t go according to plan, you did help me find some parts that I needed for my quantum destabilizer.”

“Uh, thanks…”

“I was wondering if you would like to keep traveling with me.”

Sophie brightened. She hadn’t expected this. “You mean it, Ford? Even though I pretty much got us into that whole mess yesterday?”

Ford smiled. “I mean it.”

Sophie smiled back, her tension melting into relief. “Well, it’s official. Ford and Sophie, inter-dimensional outlaws.”

Ford quirked an eyebrow. “Outlaws?”

“Well, we both have wanted posters in more than one dimension, you more than me. So outlaws fits.”

Ford’s eyebrows rose higher. “What have you done to get your face on a wanted poster? You’re what, fourteen?”

Sophie scoffed. “For your information, I’m sixteen. As for having a price on my head…well…” Sophie did not want Ford to know what really happened to cause that. “I’ve spent the past four years as a bounty hunter and managed to tick off a very powerful government ,” she finished. It wasn’t a lie, it just wasn’t the whole truth.

“How?”

“Uh…hey look, a clearing!” Sophie ran ahead to a rare, sun-soaked break in the trees. Ford may be willing to travel with her, but she wasn’t ready to open up about...that. About how he wasn’t the first friend she had made after she lost her home. About how she had lost that first friend to some criminals seeking revenge. About how Sophie had hunted down every last one of those criminals and taken them out. That would dig up emotions that she was content to keep buried.

“Sophie, wait!” Ford’s panicked voice cut through her thoughts.

Sophie paused in the middle of the clearing and realized that it was probably one of the worst places to run through with wild abandon. She felt a prick in her neck. She reached up and felt a dart-- “Ford, get down!” She jumped behind a tree as more darts whizzed through the air. She made note of where Ford was, determined the origin of the darts and threw a grenade at the unseen assailants. The boom shook the ground. Sophie uncovered her ears and peeked around the tree to assess the damage. There was a sizable crater where the darts had come from. Sophie cautiously approached it and saw the remains of a pack of wolves with shattered blowguns and belts bristling with darts.

Ford approached the area carefully, gun raised. “Careful, there could be more of them out there.”

Sophie listened, knife in hand. There were no sounds except her own breathing and the endless chatter of alien birds.

Ford finished scanning the area, lowered his gun and turned to Sophie, anger evident on his face. “What on earth were you thinking, running into a clearing like that? You could have been killed! If you didn’t want to talk about your past, you could have just said so!”

“Oh.” Sophie felt heat creep up her face as the pure recklessness of her actions soaked in. Suddenly she felt dizzy.

“I can’t believe you could be so reckless! How on earth did you manage to survive for four years with--”

Sophie fell to her knees, leaning against a tree for support.

“Sophie! What’s wrong?”

“Uh, darts?” Her brain felt like it was full of lead. “One of them hit me…” she slumped forward. Ford caught her before she hit the ground.

Ford cursed. “They must have been poisoned. Let’s hope it’s not lethal.”

“P-poison. Riiiiiiight,” Sophie slurred. Her vision started to tunnel as her whole body relaxed. Ford was talking, but she couldn’t make out any words…

 

Sophie’s head felt fuzzy. Her nostrils picked up the smell of wood smoke. She cracked her eyes open and saw a faint orange glow in the corner of her vision. She squeezed them shut and groaned as she rubbed her eyes. Great, she’d been drugged and captured.

“Sophie?”

“Whatever you do, don’t feed me cheese,” she mumbled.

“What do you have against cheese?”

“It’s gross.” Sophie opened her eyes and squinted. “Wait…Ford?”

“Yes, it’s me. It’s good to see that you’re finally awake.”

“How long was I out?” Sophie tried to sit up, but sunk back down when everything started spinning.

“Whoa, take it easy. You slept for about six hours.”

Sophie rubbed her face. “That long? Yikes, that dart poison was some powerful stuff.” She glanced up at the overhead trees. “Where are we?”

“About a mile from where we were ambushed.”

“M’kay. Wait…you carried me for a mile?”

Ford shrugged. “You don’t weight that much, which is odd considering how many things you carry in that bag. How does that work, exactly?”

“It’s basically bigger on the inside; when you put stuff in it goes into kind of a pocket dimension. At least, that’s my theory. I ran into a guy who had a time machine/space ship that worked the same way.”

“Fascinating. Have you ever reached a limit?”

“Not yet. If you ever need to put some junk in there, be my guest.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Ford poked at the fire.

Sophie managed to sit up, then her arms gave out and she flopped back to the ground. “Ow.”

Ford glanced at her in concern. “That drug is taking awhile to leave your system.”

“Yeah, it’s some kind of muscle relaxant or something.” Sophie huffed in annoyance.

“Well, it’s already dark. You should get some more sleep. I’ll keep watch for the night.”

“I literally just slept for six hours. I don’t think I could sleep any more if I wanted to right now. Besides, you’re probably tired. I could keep watch while you sleep.”

“Sophie, you’re in no state to defend yourself if we’re attacked. I’m keeping watch.”

“Fine, but I call first watch tomorrow night.”

Ford nodded and stirred the fire again.

Sophie listened to the wood crackling in the flames, thoughts turning to earlier that day.

“Running into that clearing today was an insanely risky move.” Ford said with his back to her.

This again. “Yeah, I didn’t really think that one through.”

“It’s more than that. You could have easily been killed or captured by that pack of wolves. You’re lucky that the dart wasn’t tipped with lethal poison! There are thousands of possibilities that could have happened in that clearing, and none of them are good. You need to be more careful.”

Okay, this was overkill. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. Why do you care so much, anyway?”

Ford turned around. “Why wouldn’t I care?”

“Well, in the three days since I met you you’ve rescued me twice because I got myself in trouble. I mean, you probably could have found those parts for your quantum death ray without me. I haven’t really done you any favors.”

“Sophie, if it hadn’t been for you, those bandits probably would have robbed me and caused me a major setback to defeating Bill. And I doubt I would have thought to sneak in and rob that particular camp if you hadn’t needed rescuing. And I certainly would never have found that hiding place in the last dimension without your help.” Ford smiled. “So you have been helping me.”

Sophie rolled onto her back and gazed into the darkness. “Yeah…I guess so.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, kid. Now get some sleep.”

Sophie closed her eyes, but felt restless. She tried counting to a hundred, but still didn’t feel tired. She turned on her side to face Ford. “So, do you know any jokes?”

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“Like I said earlier, I can’t sleep.”

Ford poked at the fire. “I haven’t told any jokes for a really long time.”

Sophie cocked an eyebrow. “If you don’t know any jokes, I’ll subject you to hearing my stupid puns."

Ford shrugged. “They can’t be that bad.”

Sophie grinned. “What to you call a frilly sneaker?”

“Enlighten me.”

“Lacy.”

Ford gave Sophie a look. “I take it back, that’s terrible.”

“Can’t say I didn’t warn you. Do you know why all the trees in Texas lean north?”

“Dare I even ask?”

“Because Oklahoma sucks.”

Ford groaned and rubbed his face. “Please stop.”

“I’ll keep going until you tell me one of your jokes.”

“What if I don’t have any?”

“Come on, everybody knows at least one.”

Ford gave Sophie a look. Sophie’s grin widened. Ford sighed. “Two men walk into a bar. One says, ‘I’ll have H2O.’ The other one says, ‘I’ll have H2O, too.’ The second man dies.”

     Sophie laughed. ”A chemistry joke? What else have you got, smart guy?”

     Ford put his hands up. “That’s it.”

     “…I could tell you some of my worst pickup lines.”

     Ford frowned. “Fine, I do know another one…but it’s terrible.”

     “Aw come on, it can’t be any worse than, ‘Hey baby, with your crusty outside and soft inside, you look good enough to eat.’”

Ford shot Sophie look of horror. “Why would you used that as a pickup line?!”

Sophie held out a hand. “Your joke?”

    Ford sighed. “My ex wife still misses me…but her aim is getting better!”

    Sophie chuckled. “That is terrible, but I like it.”

    “It’s not as terrible as _your_  puns.”

    “Yeah, I guess you won’t STAN-FORD them.” Sophie put on her most innocent face and side-eyed Ford.

     Ford looked at her for a moment and finally broke into a grin.

     Sophie grinned wider. “Aw, there’s that smile.”

     Ford frowned. “I never told you my name was Stanford.”

“Well, it’s kind of hard to miss it on all your wanted posters scattered across the multiverse.”

Ford relaxed again. “Right, of course.”

Sophie grinned. “You bounty is so high that no one can af-Ford it.”

Ford grinned and flicked a twig at Sophie. “Stop it, you.”

“What, I’m not punny enough?”

Ford chuckled. “Go to sleep, you knucklehead.”

Sophie grinned and rolled onto her back, listening to the fire crackle and a soft breeze whisper through the leaves above. “Ford?”

“Hmm?”

“Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For uh, not leaving me behind. It’s been a long time since anyone has…wanted me around.”

“Sophie, I was only returning a favor.”

“Well, it’s more than anyone else has done for awhile.”

“In that case, I’m glad I could help.”

Sophie smiled. “Good night, Ford.”

“Good night, Sophie.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a picture of Sophie with a trench coat. I put a link to her without a trench coat at the end of Chapter 1.
> 
> http://smileynerd256.tumblr.com/image/149136354089


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all! Sorry for the late update; this chapter was a beast. I had a hard time figuring out how I wanted it to end. It gets pretty angsty, but you find out a little more of Sophie's backstory. I hope you enjoy it!

"Is this entire planet made up of forest?" Sophie swatted a branch out of her face.

"It's possible." It had been three days since the ambush incident. Sophie had made a full recovery the next day and they had continued their trek.

"What if we're going in circles?"

"I have a compass; if this planet's magnetic poles are stable, we've been heading more or less in the same direction."

"Have you found a planet where the magnetic poles aren't stable?"

"Yes, it was maddening. Any kind of navigational equipment was useless."

"I wonder how the locals got around," Sophie mused.

"There weren't any intelligent life forms native to that planet. At least, none that I found. I was stuck there for over a month." Ford paused, suddenly alert. "Do you hear that?"

Sophie strained her ears. She heard what sounded like…sobbing? "It sounds like someone's crying."

Ford put his hand over his gun.

"What, do you think some being of pure sadness is going to jump out and eat us?"

"Shh, it could be a trap."

Sophie doubted it, but she still unsheathed a knife. She crept behind Ford until she spotted the source of the noise. It was a small, black-haired boy sitting hunched on a log with his face buried in his arms. Sophie's heart twisted at the sight. The kid was human. "Hey, kid, are you okay?"

The boy didn't respond. Sophie sheathed her knife and stepped a little closer, putting her hands up to show that she meant no harm. "Look, I just want to help, alright? You don't need to be scared of me." The boy just curled up on himself even more.

"Careful, Sophie." Ford still had his hand on his gun.

Sophie frowned. "Ford, you're scaring him. Just let me handle this."

Ford set his mouth in a line and took a step away.

Sophie inched closer. "Are you hurt? I just want to make sure that you're okay." Sophie reached out and touched the boy's shoulder. He didn't flinch away at least. She sat down next to him on the log. "Can you understand me?"

The child suddenly wrapped his arms around Sophie's waist. "Uh…" She froze, then awkwardly patted his back. Ford still looked skeptical, then his eyes widened in fear. "Sophie, get away from it!"

"What-" the "child" let loose a growl and pinned Sophie to the ground with inhuman strength, one hand around her neck. Sophie watched in horror as it morphed into a large, white slimy creature with pink eyes and a circular mouth ringed with teeth. It pinned down her arms with its insectile legs. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Ford wrestling with something.

"Foolish human," it growled in a deep voice, "your kind is far too sympathetic, always falling for that trick. Did you like it?"

Sophie struggled, but the shapeshifter was too strong. "Are you serious right now?"

The shapeshifter growled. "My victims never appreciate my tricks. No matter, my brother and I will have the glory of destroying you and your friend. The Federation never specified that they wanted you alive."

Sophie dug her fingers into the shapeshifter's slimy skin. "You…won't win."

The shapeshifter squeezed harder, cutting of Sophie's air completely. "I already have. Just a few moments more, and you'll lose consciousness."

Sophie panicked as her vision darkened around the edges. Kira, her only friend after her home was destroyed, had sacrificed herself so the Federation wouldn't get Sophie; Sophie couldn't let that sacrifice be for nothing…the world narrowed to a pinprick of light… __No…__

Suddenly the shapeshifter released its grip and toppled off of Sophie, knocked out cold. Sophie gasped for air, glad to be able to breathe again. Ford helped her to her feet.

"Are you going to be alright?" asked Ford.

Sophie coughed. "Yeah, I think I'll be oka-" Sophie froze when she saw another Ford knocked out on the ground. She took a step back. "Uh, how do I know that you're not the other shapeshifter?"

Ford shrugged. "Easy, why would I knock the other one out if I wasn't me?"

"Makes sense…" Sophie rested a hand on one of her knives.

Ford began to walk away. "Come on, Sophie, we need to leave before they wake up."

Sophie stayed put. "I need more proof. I need to be absolutely sure that it's you."

(Ford?) turned back and huffed impatiently. "There's no time, we need to go!"

Sophie's grip on her knife tightened. "Want to hear a joke?"

Ford looked confused. "What?"

"My ex wife still misses me…" she looked at Ford pointedly.

"Sophie, this is no time for silliness, we need to go!"

Quick as lighting, Sophie threw her knife at not-Ford. It sunk in to the hilt.

The shapeshifter looked at her for a moment with Ford's face, eyes wide with shock. Then it shrieked and changed into its huge, slimy form and pulled the knife out. Sophie charged, sword drawn, and pressed a recess in the pommel that made it spark and glow blue with energy. She dodged the shapeshifter's claw as it took a swipe at her, and struck a blow with her sword. It had already healed its skin where her knife had sunk in. It morphed into a woman with gray skin, amber eyes and a blaster on her hip. Sophie froze. _Kira._ It looked exactly like her. Except last time Sophie had seen her face, her eyes had been lifeless, her features blank. The shapeshifter drew its sword. "This should be fun." It imitated Kira's voice perfectly.

Sophie fell back, blocking blow after blow. This was so _wrong._ Their blades locked. The shapeshifter pushed her nearly to her knees. Sophie glared into the mockery of her dead friend's eyes and felt a surge of rage. "How _dare_ you wear her face!" She rolled out of the lock, throwing the shapeshifter off balance and stabbed it in the back.

It fell to the ground, rolled in its back and looked at her with Kira's amber eyes. "Sophie, how could you?"

Sophie furiously blinked back the tears that blurred her vision. "Stop it! You're not her!"

"Yes, I am! I was always a shapeshifter, I just never told you."

Sophie shook her head. "No, I saw Kira die. You-you can't be her!" She let out an involuntary sob.

"Please, just help me," Kira-no, the shapeshifter implored with pleading eyes.

"O-okay." Sophie approached the shapeshifter, reached her left hand out…and dug her heel into the gaping wound her sword had left behind. It let out an unearthly shriek and struggled, but Sophie kept it down. "You're not Kira. She was the best darn bounty hunter in the multiverse, and she was my friend. You're nothing but a face-stealing Federation rat." She swung her sword and struck off its head. It melted back into its original form.

Sophie wiped the tears from her face and tried to pull herself together as she rushed back to the Ford only to find him choking…the other shapeshifter? Or was the shapeshifter choking him? She ran in, knocked the Ford that was choking the other Ford to the ground and pinned him down with a knife against his throat. She glanced between him and the other Ford, who was coughing and gasping for air.

"Sophie, it's me. Get off!"

"Just listen up, Ford."

Both Fords looked at her.

"My ex wife still misses me…"

The Ford under her replied, "But her aim is getting better!" Sophie threw her knife at the shapeshifter and let Ford up. He dove for his gun as Sophie charged with her sword drawn. The creature pulled out the knife and morphed into a perfect copy of her.

Sophie rolled her eyes. "Seriously?" She blocked and parried as the shapeshifter ferociously beat on her with its blade. Sophie was starting to wear down.

"Sophie!" Ford shouted.

The shapeshifter turned its head. Sophie took the chance and plunged her blade into its chest. The shapeshifter looked at Sophie with her own face, eyes wide and mouth gaping open. It shrieked and morphed back into its white slimy form. Ford shot it a few times and it fell to the ground, finally still. Sophie stared at its lifeless form, panting.

"Sophie?"

She turned to Ford, who was still gripping his gun. She tried to force a grin, but it fell flat. "Come on, you can't af-Ford to shoot me. I won't Stan-ford it."

Ford relaxed and holstered his weapon. "Only you could make puns that ridiculous. At least in this dimension."

Sophie powered down and sheathed her sword. "Yeah. I don't think those shapeshifters had a sense of humor."

Ford stared at the shapeshifter's prone form. "I haven't seen shapeshifting bounty hunters before. They seemed to be focused on you."

Sophie fought hard to keep her voice from shaking. "They were."

"You said that no one has been tracking you."

"That's what I thought, but it looks like these guys caught up to me finally."

"They've followed you before?"

"Yeah."

"Sophie, what exactly did you do to attract their attention?"

Sophie took a deep breath, focusing on the ground. "Well, uh…they were from the Federation of Dimension 522 Alpha. I offed a few of their assassins, and those two been hunting me ever since. I managed to throw them off my trail for awhile, but it looks like they caught up with me."

Ford looked incredulous. "You did what?"

Sophie's throat tightened. "I'm a bounty hunter. They were wanted criminals in some dimensions. I was just doing my job." _I was just avenging the death of my only friend in the multiverse._

"You could have at least told me that you had deadly assassins after you instead of literally running away to avoid the subject! First you run headlong into an ambush, and now this? Of all the reckless and irresponsible-"

"Look, if you want to split up, I'm not stopping you. I didn't mean to drag you into this mess." Great. Sophie had been an idiot to think that this would actually last. Of course, just when she started to trust Ford, everything would fall apart.

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm keeping an eye on you to make sure you're not killed from your own stupidity, if nothing else. Besides, this "Federation" as you call it probably already has me down as one of their targets."

Sophie frowned. "You still want me around after I put you in danger…three times now?"

"Only because my conscience won't allow me to do otherwise."

"So, your conscience made you help me escape that first time?"

"You got yourself in trouble on my behalf. Although, if I had known back then how foolhardy you would turn out to be, perhaps I would have left you behind in this dimension, gotten the parts myself, and saved us both some trouble!"

So that was it; Ford saw himself as an obligatory babysitter. Sophie clenched her fists. "Well if you're just keeping me around out of obligation, then we might as well part ways! I don't want to be viewed as a _burden_ to 'the great Stanford Pines.'"

Ford pinched the bride of his nose. "Look, I won't just leave you on your own."

"Oh, is that it? You think I can't survive on my own? In case you've forgotten, I've been freaking bounty hunting completely on my own for the past two years!"

"I thought you said four," muttered Ford.

"Ugh, whatever! I can survive without you! I don't need you!" Sophie's voice nearly broke and she angrily blinked back tears. Even as she said the words she knew she didn't mean them.

Ford wasn't looking at her. "Fine, but at least I'll get you to another dimension first!" Ford pulled out what looked like a cordless blow drier with a dial on the side. Sophie recognized the Federation's insignia on the barrel.

"Where did you get that?"

"One of the shapeshifters had it." Ford aimed it a tree.

Sophie panicked and lunged at Ford. "Wait, don't pull the trigger!"

He pulled it. A swirling blue disk appeared in the air. Sophie collided with Ford, unable to stop herself, and they both tumbled into another dimension onto hard, rocky ground. Sophie stood and brushed herself off. "You idiot!" she shoved Ford. "Now the Federation knows exactly where we are!"

"How could they?"

"All their portal guns have trackers on them! And even if you find some way to deactivate the tracking, it takes at least 12 hours for the gun to recharge!"

"What? You could have told me that before!"

"I didn't get a chance because you were too busy telling me how stupid and reckless I am! Who's the reckless one now, huh?"

"You're one to talk! What kind of idiot deliberately hunts down the assassins of a dangerous inter-dimensional crime circle, on their own, and fails to tell the person they're traveling with that they have assassins after them?"

"THEY KILLED MY FRIEND!" Sophie's voice broke.

Ford's expression softened.

"They murdered the only person in the multiverse who cared about me! Who mattered to me!" Sophie angrily scrubbed away the tears streaming down her cheeks. "I hunted down the assassins that killed her. That made me a target."

"Sophie, I'm sor-"

"Shut up!" Sophie turned her back on Ford and hid her face in her hands. No one was supposed to see her like this. Two years of burying her emotions, and she couldn't hold it back any more. Sophie fell to her knees, shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs as she remembered Kira's lifeless body and the crushing loneliness that had nearly consumed her.

She had been forced to hide as Kira tried to fend off three assassins, too injured to fight by her side. Wounds that had been scabbed over for years were reopened when the shapeshifter had taken Kira's form. Sophie had never really recovered from losing her.

Ford awkwardly cleared his throat. "We need to get moving, if what you said about the Federation knowing where we are is true."

Sophie knew he was right, but she stubbornly ignored him.

"Look, I know you're upset, but we need to leave this area."

Sophie fought to get her emotions under control. "You go ahead. I'll take care of them."

"Sophie, I'm sure your friend wouldn't want you to meet the same fate she did."

"Kira was wounded when she fought the assassins off. That's why she lost. That's why it was murder."

"How did you survive?"

"I was a little worse off than she was, so she told me to stay hidden. I-I couldn't help." Sophie throat tightened. She clenched her jaw, took a deep, shuddering breath, and got to her feet. "We should get moving. The Federation could hide anywhere in this place." Sophie and Ford were in a canyon flanked by rocks in various shades of purple. The sky was bright green, giving everything an eerie glow.

"That's what I just-"

"Shut it." Sophie heard a faint noise.

"Sophie-"

"No really, listen." The canyon echoed with the sound of footsteps. Lots of footsteps… "Ford, run!" She sprinted away from the sound. Ford's boots clumped behind her.

She skidded to a stop as she saw a horde of beings pouring into the canyon a few hundred yards ahead of them. Ford halted next to her. She whirled around only to see another horde advancing from the other end of the canyon. Either there were a lot of bandits here, or the Federation had sent an entire army. They were trapped. She ducked between some rocks as bullets began flying through the air.

"Great," she huffed. "Ford, if we die, I'm going to kill you."

"That makes absolutely no sense." Ford reached into his pocket.

"I'll find a way to make it make sense." She watched Ford pull out a small black box. "Is that some gadget that will get us out of here?"

"I'm not sure what it will do, but at this point it's our best bet." He opened the box and took out a small, glowing polyhedron covered in symbols that constantly changed.

Sophie gaped. "Is that an infinity-sided die?"

"Yes." Ford threw it down…and rolled an eight. "What? Come on!" The two advancing hordes were almost on top of them.

"Well, so much for tha-"

Ford rolled the die again. There was a huge pop and everything around them turned white.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still alive! This chapter took awhile because of life...and stress...and stuff. I'm still working on this fic, but I can't guarantee when the next chapter will come out. I hope you enjoy this one. Warning: this one has brief intense violence. It gets pretty dark.

Sophie blinked the spots out of her eyes and took in her new surroundings. She and Ford appeared to be in the back yard of a sod house, right in the middle of a few squashed vegetables and some very irate chickens. A woman stood with her hand in a bag of seed, looking wide-eyed between Ford and Sophie. She wore a long dress with an apron and bonnet like… _shoot, did we get zapped back in time?_

Ford stood as he slipped the infinity die back into his pocket and brushed himself off. "Greetings, madam. Terribly sorry about your vegetables, but would you mind telling us what country this is?"

The woman screamed. "Magic folks! In my own garden! Help! Sheriff! Help!"

"Wait, we're not-"

"No, that isn't-"

But the woman ran around the side of her house and into the street before either of them could stop her.

Sophie pulled up her hood. "I'll go through town, you head for the foothills in the east."

"But you'll be caught!" Ford shouted after her, as she rounded the opposite corner of the house. She ran along what she assumed was the town's main road. The place looked like something out of an old western movie; all the buildings were built with wood or sod and everyone wore pioneer-era clothing. Except for one huge difference.

Well, two really. Right in front of her was a saloon with a row of ostriches tied to a wooden rail outside. _Six years of horseback riding, don't fail me now._ Sophie drew her sword, sliced it along the rail and leaped onto the nearest ostrich. The birds took advantage of their new-found freedom and booked it for the hills, causing several people from the town to shout and jump out of the way. Sophie clung to the rope looped around the bird for dear life. _Do people here actually ride these things?_ She glanced behind her.

A man decked out in chaps and a cowboy hat was coming after her on the back of an ostrich, flanked by a dinosaur the size of a large dog. _A velicoraptor,_ her mind supplied. _So it's basically the old west with dinosaurs and ostriches. Weird._ Sophie chuckled. The cowboy looked ridiculous.

The flock of birds left the town behind and headed towards the foothills on the west side of the valley. Sophie felt a little hollow leaving Ford behind, but maybe he would be better off without her. He could probably find a way to take the tracker off of the portal gun if he didn't find a wormhole first. Sophie would have nicked it, but she wasn't that great with alien tech. Hopefully the nearest wormhole wouldn't be too far away.

The stampede entered a ravine between two hills where several paths branched off. Sophie glanced over her shoulder. The hills blocked her pursuer from sight. Her mount was on the edge of the flock. She leaped off of the bird, rolled away and hid in a clump of scrubby bushes. She waited for the thundering footsteps to fade and ran up to the top of the hill she had landed on. She smirked as the ostriches ran off, wondering how long it would take that cowboy to realize that she wasn't riding one of them any more. She scanned the horizon for any sign of another town; nothing showed up.

Suddenly she stiffened when she heard a hiss and a low growl. _Shoot, that raptor probably sniffed me out._ She whirled around and drew her sword, activating the blue glow, and drew a knife with her other hand.

The raptor growled as Sophie shifted into a defensive stance. Sophie stared into its slitted eyes, daring it to make a move. It lunged at her with its jaws open. Sophie barely managed to sidestep the attack and plunged her blade into the reptile's side, sizzling its flesh. The raptor let out a scream as Sophie jerked her blade out, and fell to the ground. It took two shuddering breaths and went still.

Sophie heard large footsteps coming up the hill. She grabbed a rock and dove behind the nearest scrubby bush. It wasn't nearly enough cover; if the cowboy looked that way, Sophie would be spotted. She held her breath and watched him approach the dead dinosaur. He dismounted his ostrich, removed his hat and knelt by the carcass. Sophie thanked whatever deity was out there that he had his back to her. She took careful aim with the rock in her hand and threw it in a perfect arc. It smacked the cowboy in the head and knocked him out cold.

Fortunately, the ostrich didn't run away. Sophie approached it slowly with a small piece of dried fruit in her open palm. The bird bent down and snapped it up. Sophie hoped the bird would like her now. She tied up the unconscious cowboy, slung him over the ostrich's back like a sack of potatoes and took him to the nearest shade she could find in a small bunch of stunted trees. She could use him to find out if there were any neighboring towns when he came to.

She didn't have to wait long. The guy moaned. Sophie shook him by his shoulder. "Wake up, sunshine!"

He slowly opened him eyes and blinked. "What-Charlie-" his eyes focused on Sophie. "You! You killed Charlie, you evil witch!"

Sophie crossed her arms. "I take it that was your dinosaur."

"Dino-what? That was my lizard dog, a fine one, too!"

"Well, your pet lizard dog tried to kill me. It was self-defense."

"I'm sure it was! You attacked him, you must have!"

Sophie threw up her hands. "Oh, for pete's sake! It was a vicious, reptilian carnivore coming at me with all the friendliness of a rattle snake! But that's not what we're here to discuss. What I want to know from you is where the next town is. I need supplies and a place to stay where I don't have to worry about being hunted as a witch."

The cowboy smirked. "Good luck with that, missy. There ain't another town for a hundred miles at least."

"Is that so?" The guy seemed to be telling the truth.

"Yeah, my buddies will catch up to you and you'll end up locked up and dead, just like your old man."

Sophie stiffened. "What?"

"My pals captured your pa back in town. His testing and execution should be tonight."

"Old man? You mean-"

"The one that you appeared with with your spooky witch powers."

_Ford got caught?_ Sophie tried to ignore the warning bells going off in her mind. Ford would be fine…probably. "Wait, what was that about a testing and execution?"

The man clammed up. "I ain't saying no more."

Sophie narrowed her eyes. "So, what else do you have to say?"

"Huh?"

"You expressed a double negative, which equals a positive."

The man stared blankly.

"If you 'ain't saying no more,' then that literally means that you have more to say." She flashed a cheeky grin. "Watch your grammar, cowboy."

The man frowned again. "Well, I won't tell you anything, then!"

Sophie's lip curled up in a dangerous smile. "Oh, I think you will." She drew a knife, slowly and deliberately, and casually waved it around. "I've heard it told that the human body can withstand a hundred cuts before losing consciousness." She stepped closer to the man and bent over him. "Although, I've never really tested that theory. Want to be my first subject?" She rested the tip of the blade on the man's nose.

He turned pale and was quivering. "I-I'll tell you! We take all suspects to the mayor, and he decides if they're guilty of witchcraft or not!"

"Then what?"

"If they're not guilty, they get to stay in the town."

_Odd…_ "And if they are 'found guilty?'" Sophie etched quotation marks with her fingers.

"Th-they get shot at sundown, right after dark."

Sophie glanced at the sinking sun. If she was right about this planet's rotation, Ford had half an hour at the most. She grabbed the man's collar. "And how likely is it that Ford will be thought innocent?"

"N-not likely."

_Crap._ Ford really was in trouble. "Tell me where executions are held. Now!"

"O-on the edge of town, next to the cemetery!"

"Which edge of town?" Sophie snarled.

"The northwest corner! Towards the sunset!"

Sophie dropped the cowboy, fighting panic as she smacked the cowboy's hat on her own head, stuffed her hair up into it and yanked the ostrich's rope out of the knot she'd tied. "If I find Ford alive, I'll tell your buddies where I left you. If Ford dies I'll come back and make sure that you suffer a slow, painful death." She hopped onto the ostrich. "Uh, go home, bird!" Surprisingly, that worked. The bird took off towards town.

* * *

Ford was irked. He thought he'd had the situation under control until he found himself pinned down by a velicoraptor, its razor-sharp teeth inches from his face. He'd been tied up and thrown over the back of an ostrich-that was a new experience-and he currently sat in one of two cells in a small sheriff's office that doubled as a jail.

The men that had brought him here had taken all his weapons and his coat, and he was still bound and gagged; even his feet were tied up. Because of how he had entered this dimension, everyone here thought that he was some kind of sorcerer, which appeared to be a crime in this town. While he did know a few spells, they could hardly be considered dangerous. He could talk his way out of most situations but this would be a tricky one.

Then there was the whole matter of the infinity die. It had never sent him to another dimension before. Had it sent him back in time as well? He would find out once he got rid of the tracker on that portal gun. _The portal gun!_ Ford cursed. He would have to get his stuff back when he made his escape, and find Sophie…wherever she had run off to. Hopefully she hadn't been caught… His thoughts were interrupted by the sheriff banging through the office door, followed by a middle-aged man in a suit and Mrs. Finnegan, the woman whose garden Ford and Sophie had unintentionally ruined.

"That's the man, sure enough, but where's the girl?" asked Mrs. Finnegan.

"We still haven't caught her, ma'am, but I did send one of my posse to take care of her," said the sheriff.

"You'd better not let her get away," said the man in the suit, "we can't have a witch on the loose. Open the cell and leave us, I want some time alone with this suspect."

"Yes, Mr. Mayor." The sheriff stuck the key in lock and swung the door open.

Ford mentally prepared a speech, fully expecting the mayor to remove his gag.

Instead the mayor sat on the extra chair in the cell and waited until the sheriff left. Ford watched him, not sure whether to brace himself for an attack or simply wait. The mayor finally reached out and pulled off his gag. "Better?"

"Yes, now if you could untie my hands-"

"Not so fast."

"Sorry?"

"Mrs. Finnegan said you appeared in her back yard in a flash of light; I don't know where you came from or whether or not you're dangerous, so you'll understand if I leave you bound for now."

Ford nodded. "I can assure you that I-"

"Anyone can say that they're not dangerous, only to turn around and try to knife you. I'm the mayor of this town and I aim to keep this place safe. And you are-?"

Ford felt uneasy telling the mayor anything about himself. "Fred." It was close enough to his real name that he could remember it.

"Hmm, interesting." The mayor looked at Ford with an unsettling gaze. "Where do you come from, Fred?"

"Someplace far away from here. I'm not sure where it is relevant to here-"

"This is part of the unclaimed lands west of the United States."

"Ah, that explains quite a bit. Do you get many travelers through this town heading for the frontier?"

"We rarely see strangers. Are you on the run from anyone, Fred?"

Ford huffed. "Why are you asking me personal questions? Can't you just figure out that I'm not some kind of sorcerer and let me go?"

"That's what I'm doing. And I like to get to know any strangers that come through here since, as I said, we rarely see them. Now, judging by your worn clothing and the many things you had packed with you, I see that you've been traveling for a long time."

Ford was getting increasingly irritated. "Your point?"

"Be patient. Perhaps in your travels you've thought of settling down in one place. As this is a secluded little town tucked away in the mountains, what do you think about staying here?"

"What? Are you insane? This town is completely hostile! The second I show up, I'm accused of sorcery, chased by men riding ostriches and their pet velicoraptors, tied up, gagged, and put in a cell, and you're seriously asking me if I want to live here?"

The mayor frowned. "Are you sure you don't want to stay? I think you would enjoy this place if you gave it a chance."

"Absolutely not. I'll tell you what I'll do: I'm going to escape and get as far away from here as quickly as possible!"

The mayor's eyes took on a stony glint. "You'll never escape, Stanford Pines."

Ford tensed. "How do you know my name?"

"The mountain stream that runs through here gives certain people certain powers. I'm slightly psychic."

Ford scoffed. "Slightly psychotic, maybe."

"Watch you tongue, Stanford. Do you want your death to be more painful?"

"You're not going to kill me."

"Yes I will. You'll be shot in approximately…" the mayor glanced outside. "Half an hour. As soon as the sun sets."

Ford felt a slight twinge of panic. He needed to stall, think of a plan… "So, what else is the town's water source good for? Besides psychic powers."

The mayor kicked back in his chair. "Ah, yes, most victims want to know about this place before they die. The stream is from a mountain spring, and can heal any physical infirmity within a matter of hours." The mayor laughed. "I came here in my twenties in search of gold, but ended up with something much more valuable. But I had to make sure that this place was safe, and that the rest of the world never found out about it and contaminated it. So, I use my abilities to win over whoever comes through here into staying here for forever, and those that I can't convince get shot so this resource stays safe. The whole sorcery thing is a good way to drum up suspicion about strangers. I tell the people of this town that this place attracts sorcerers, and to protect them I need to make sure that they're not magic."

Ford boiled with fury. "You murder everyone that you can't control, just so you can keep this stream to yourself?"

"Now that's a bit harsh-"

"That's barbaric, is what it is!" Ford had worked his hands out of the ropes and lunged towards the mayor, making a grab for the revolver on his hip. Unfortunately Ford's feet were still tied and the mayor dodged him easily, pinned him to the floor and pressed the gun to his back.

"Admirable attempt, but you won't get out of here alive." The Mayor leaned closer and twisted Ford's arm up behind his back. "As for your little girl-"

Ford grit his teeth. "Leave her out of this, she has nothing to do with-"

"She's with you, that's accusation enough."

"She's a child!"

"Child or not, she was clearly armed and dangerous. If she can't be persuaded to stay here, she'll be shot just like you."

"No!" Ford struggled even as his fingers tingled and shoulder ached.

"Sheriff!"

The sheriff stepped in. "Sir?"

"Rebind his wrists and tie him at the elbows. He escaped those knots far too easily."

"Sheriff, listen!" shouted Ford. "The mayor is-" Ford was cut off by a gag forced between his teeth.

"That's enough of that," said the mayor as the sheriff tied Ford's wrists together, along with a short rope knotted at his elbows. The mayor stepped out of the cell after the sheriff and slammed the bars shut. "Enjoy your last…twenty-five minutes of life, Stanford."

Ford shouted muffled curses and struggled against the ropes as the two other men shut the office door behind them, leaving him alone. Completely alone. Ford hadn't been alone since he'd met Sophie; he had almost forgotten what it felt like.

_Sophie…_ where was that kid? Had she been captured? Was the mayor really depraved enough to execute her? Despite the argument they had just had, Ford somehow felt responsible for the kid. He pulled his feet up behind him and worked on the ropes around his ankles. There was no way he would let these creeps do anything to Sophie if he could help it.

Ford felt a small thrill when the rope finally loosened and he could stand. The victory was short-lived. The mayor, the sheriff and two large men crowded through the door.

The mayor narrowed his eyes at Ford. "I see you already freed your feet. That will make our job easier." He snapped his fingers and the sheriff unlocked the cell and swung the door open with a revolver aimed at Ford. Chances of escape were dwindling to decimal fractions.

Ford struggled as the large men grabbed him and marched him out of the cell. That only got him a punch in the gut. He was somewhat relieved to see that Sophie was nowhere in sight; maybe she hadn't been caught after all. The sun faded from the sky as the men tied Ford to a post. He wondered if it would be the last sunset he ever saw. One of the large men raised a musket. Ford glared at the man and braced himself for impact.

* * *

Sophie held onto the ostrich for dear life and urged it to go faster. _I knew Ford would be better off without me, and now he's in this mess, why didn't I leave him alone when he still had a chance, why didn't he leave me behind, what if I'm too late? What if Ford dies? WHAT IF FORD DIES?_ That possibility made her sick.

Sure, they had argued earlier, and Ford had said some harsh things, but he had put his life on the line for her sake. No one had done that for her since she'd lost Kira. And now that she was faced with the possibility of losing him, she realized that she had actually started to care about him. _If he dies it will be all my fault…I can't have someone else die on my watch, I can't lose someone else, I can't, I just can't-_

Sophie fought off full-blown panic as the sun sank steadily below the horizon and urged her mount to go faster. The town came into view as the sky succumbed to darkness. Sophie steered the bird towards the northwest corner of town. Five people stood next to a small collection of graves, four of them with their backs to her. The fifth was tied to a post. Sophie's heart caught in her throat. _Ford._

In the dying light there was a flash of gunpowder, a sharp report. Ford slumped against the post. For a moment, Sophie swore her heart stopped. _No!_ Memories of Kira flashed across her mind...she focused on the four men still standing and drew her knives as she leaped off the ostrich onto the man holding the gun. The next few moments were a blur that left three men, one of them with a badge that said, "Sheriff," dead on the ground and the fourth man on his back with a bleeding arm and terror in his eyes.

He raised his good arm as a weak defense. "You-you don't want to kill me. Trust me, there will be consequences!"

Sophie pressed her heel into the man's sternum. "You killed my friend. That's a death sentence."

"I didn't-"

"You're responsible, you slimeball!"

"If you kill me, you'll only go further down the path of darkness!"

"I've been on that road for a long time. I'm not stopping now." Sophie raised her sword and finished him off. She turned away, slightly sickened, and caught sight of Ford moving a little. _Oh, no!_ Sophie rushed over and sliced through the ropes that held him to the pole. He slumped to ground with a slight grunt that made Sophie wince.

Her hands shook as she cut away the ropes around his arms and ankles. _He's still alive, oh gosh, he's still…_ Sophie cradled Ford in her arms.

"Ford, I'm sorry I left you behind, I just-I thought you would be okay, but now-" Sophie let out a choked sob, tears spilling down her cheeks. _This can't be happening, this isn't happening, I can't do this again I just can't-_

Ford groaned. "I'm fine."

Sophie sniffed. "You can't fool me, you just got shot!"

Ford slowly sat up. "Yes, but the bullet didn't touch me. I'm wearing something similar to kevlar, and it stopped it."

Sophie cautiously ran her hand over Ford's chest. No blood. "You-you really are okay."

"Of course, do you think I would-oof!"

Sophie threw her arms around Ford, tears welling in her eyes. She pulled back after a couple of seconds. "I uh, I'm just glad you weren't, you know, dead or something."

Ford winced. "I may have a cracked rib or two, but the mayor told me that the stream that runs through here has healing properties, though I wouldn't count him as a reliable source."

"Well, there's only one way to find out." Sophie stood up and held out her hand. Ford took it and got up with a grunt. His eyes widened as he noticed the bodies of the mayor, sheriff and others.

"You did this?"

"Yep."

"How?"

"My parents started teaching me knife throwing and martial arts when I was four. Kira taught me how to sword fight." Sophie walked around the bodies and headed towards the stream.

"That's…I knew you could throw knives, but…"

"It's what I've had to do to survive. I never would have guessed that all those hours spent throwing knives at wooden blocks would turn into a means of survival. Of course, if I hadn't learned that, I wouldn't be here and you wouldn't have to put up with my reckless attitude."

Ford shook his head. "Sophie…I didn't know. I made assumptions without sufficient evidence."

Sophie shrugged. "Yeah, well, I am reckless. And to be fair, I said some things that _I_ didn't mean. Heat of the moment, or whatever."

"Yes, well evidently, recklessness isn't always bad. If you weren't reckless I would probably be dead by now."

"Not with your bullet-deflecting armor."

"They would have figured it out, forcibly removed it and shot me again, I'm sure of it."

Sophie shook her head. "Psychos. Did they really believe in witchcraft?"

"No, it was the mayor. He used fear to control the town and keep too many people from discovering and using the water. Apparently he had psychic powers and the ability to control certain minds, and he used the whole "witchcraft" facade to screen any newcomers. Anyone he couldn't control got killed, and anyone that he could control stayed here, so that no one could let the rest of the world know about this place."

"Yeesh, all that for some magic voodoo water. Speaking of which…" Sophie stopped in front of the winding stream that ran by the town and knelt down next to Ford, scooping up some water to take a sip. She perked up a bit and glanced over at Ford as she filled her canteen. "Well, it tastes good."

Ford nodded "Yes." He yawned. "We could sleep in the jail tonight and head out tomorrow."

Sophie cocked an eyebrow. "We?"

"I mean, that is, you don't have to-"

Sophie slipped into a lopsided grin. "No, I like it."

They went back to the cemetery so Ford could take the sheriff's keys and crashed in one of the jail cells. Despite feeling weird about voluntarily sleeping behind bars, Sophie fell asleep the moment her head hit the cot.

* * *

She woke up the next day to find that all her bruises and scratches had disappeared, and Ford had only slept for a few hours before disassembling the portal gun and removing the tracking device. He was putting the last few pieces together when she woke up.

"Are you even human?"

Ford gave the last screw a final twist. "Yes, and I fixed this so we can get out of here as quickly as possible." He fiddled with a knob on the side. "This even has a little screen so you can see what dimensions are nearby."

Sophie slung on her pack. "That's great, smart guy."

Suddenly, a loud thumping sounded out on the door.

"We know you're in there, you murderers!"

"If you have all that black magic, bring our mayor and sheriff back!"

Ford frowned. "That's our cue to leave."

"Yep." Sophie smacked her forehead. "Wait, I almost forgot!"

"What?"

Sophie grabbed a sheet of paper. "I left one of their guys tied up in the desert yesterday." She scribbled a note on it and shoved it under the door. "Now we're good to go."

"Right." Ford aimed the portal gun and pulled the trigger. Sophie wondered if they would be in a different time line now. Whatever happened, though, she knew one thing; she would stick with Ford. Things weren't…perfect between them, but they were off to a decent start. With a deep breath, she followed him through the swirling blue disk.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, look! An update! Miracles do happen. This was originally going to be one monster of a chapter, but I split it so you'll get two good-sized chapters less than a month apart. Yay! Happy reading. :)

"Dragons are NOT supposed to be that big!" Sophie yelped as Ford yanked her out of the way of shooting flames.

"Since when were you the expert on dragons?"

Sophie ducked around a rock. "Since I had one as a pet."

"You WHAT?!" Ford leaped over a boulder.

"They're like a cross between a lizard and a fruit bat! Highly intelligent, fun to play with, and they make great foot warmers when it gets cold. At least, the ones I grew up with. That thing," Sophie jerked her thumb behind her, "is a fire-breathing T-Rex with wings!"

"You had dragons in your home dimension?"

"Yeah, but right now we need to focus on staying alive! It's been 12 hours since our last jump, right?"

"Yes, but just barely-"

"What in the name of sanity are you waiting for? I don't want to be that dragon's next barbecued steak!"

"Enough distance so that thing won't follow us into the next dimension!"

"I wish you'd been more interested in distance before you woke the thing up!" The "thing" unleashed a roar that shook the earth and made Sophie's bones vibrate.

"It's not every day you see a dragon!"

"But you should get a hint that it's probably not safe to go near one that huge! Especially if everyone you ask for directions warns you to stay away."

"It was a once in a lifetime opportunity!"

Sophie rolled her eyes. "Oh, I'm Stanford Pines, and I'm going risk getting roasted alive and eaten, for SCIENCE!"

" _You_ like chemistry strictly for the sake of blowing things up!"

"Explosions can be controlled; dangerous otherworldly beasts can't!" Sophie ducked as another stream of flames shot over their heads. "Although it would fascinating to know exactly what substance that dragon uses to produce flames. It looks like a combination of propane and-"

"There!" Ford pulled Sophie into a small space between two rocks, shot the portal gun and they dove through the swirling blue disk as flames licked at their heels. For a moment they floated through weightless nothingness…and tumbled into a dark alleyway.

Ford stood and gave Sophie a hand up. She dusted herself off and took a look around. They were in a dead end that opened into a busy street full of several different species. She peeked around the corner. A moon took up a quarter of the horizon that she faced, bathing the city in pale light. The planet was cold, but not cold enough to imply a distant sun. Tall buildings spiraled towards the sky, gleaming eerily in the moonlight like the claws of some great beast.

Ford took in their surroundings. "This looks…familiar."

Sophie looked at him in surprise. "You've been here before?"

"I think so." Ford clasped his hands behind his back. "Unless I'm mistaken, I might have an old contact here that could help us get some supplies…and direct us to a facility that has parts for Experiment 618."

"Experiment 618?"

"You know," Ford gestured with his thumb to the case on his back that held the quantum destabilizer.

"Oh right, that thing that you've been 'dragon' around." Sophie flashed a crooked grin.

Ford groaned. "Must you?"

Sophie punched him softly. "Come on, you're just holding back a smile."

Ford grunted.

"So, how do we find this contact of yours? Are you sure that we're in the right city?"

"Either we are, or this dimension is parallel to the one I'm thinking of."

Sophie shrugged. "Let's take our chances. What's the worst that could happen?"

"I'd rather not think about that." Ford pressed a few buttons on his watch.

"Heh, yeah, I guess the worst that could happen is that someone recognizes one or both of us from our-"

"Yes, yes, that's quite enough. Let's not talk about our secrets for every passerby to hear."

Sophie frowned. "No one's listening. No one's paying attention to us. Believe me, I've checked."

"You never know who may be watching or listening. Sometimes, even the walls have ears. Literally." Ford fiddled with his watch some more. "There! Got it." His watch projected a 3-D map of the planet they were on, and with a few more buttons pressed it zoomed in on the city they were in with a red dot indicating their location.

Sophie gaped. "Wow, that is so cool!" She reddened. "Uh, ahem, I mean, that's a-a nice piece of technology."

"Yes, yes," Ford muttered as he manipulated the map around. "That's it!" He made a little green line from the red dot to a spot on the map. "I've found the place where my old contact lives, if this is the right dimension."

"Great! How far of a walk is it?"

"Only about three miles."

Sophie nodded. "So does this guy sell stuff on the black market or something?"

"He's a smuggler."

"Smuggler of what?"

Ford furrowed his brow. "I don't remember."

Sophie frowned. "That concerns me."

Ford peered out of the alley. "Well, I'm sure that it's nothing too deadly."

"I'll be the judge of that."

They made their way down the street, both keeping an eye out for anyone following or looking at them too closely. Sophie kept her head down and hands in her pockets. She felt uneasy, but she couldn't put her finger on why. A small, irrational part of her mind wondered if Ford was leading her into a trap. She kept telling herself that Ford would never do that, but the uneasy feeling persisted. She hoped it was wrong.

After a couple of hours, Ford pointed out a sign depicting smiling moon with little arms and legs holding a tankard in one hand. "That's the place."

Sophie nodded. "'The Happy Moon.' Looks promising." She followed Ford through the door, and was at once nervous and glad to see the place crowded. On one hand, it gave them more opportunity to blend in. On the other hand, it meant there were more pairs of eyes potentially watching them. She wove between several tables and hopped up on a stool at the bar next to Ford, glancing warily at the other patrons.

The bartender, a being with thick arms, large eyes and a nose like a short elephant's trunk, sauntered up to Sophie with a glass in his hand. "G'day folks, what can I get for you two?"

"A shot of whiskey for me, and a glass of ecliptus juice for the girl." Ford subtly held up his hand and wiggled his six fingers.

The bartender's eyes widened momentarily, then his mouth stretched into a grin. "One whiskey and one ecliptus coming right up." He leaned in closer, "And for you two, it's on the house."

"Thanks," Ford replied.

The bartender winked and moved to fill the order.

Sophie followed him with her eyes. "I'm assuming that's your pal," she said quietly.

"Yes."

"What makes you trust him?"

"Last time I was here, I stowed away on a ship of his to get to another planet. He discovered me, but let me stay on board. I helped defend the ship when it was attacked by pirates; he considers that a life debt."

Sophie nodded slowly. "Seems okay." She looked over the myriad of faces and eyes. Some were watching her and Ford, scrutinizing them… "We're too exposed here."

Ford nodded. "We'll leave as soon as we finish our drinks. Leaving now would only attract more unwanted attention."

"Right." Sophie put her hands on the counter to keep herself from pulling out any weapons. "So, is that juice you ordered for me alcoholic?"

"Of course not. I don't condone underage drinking."

"Well, you should have ordered juice for yourself, too. Alcohol dulls your senses, pickles your liver and makes it easier for people to capture you."

"I ordered a shot. 1.5 ounces of whiskey won't even get me slightly drunk."

"It's still a bad choice."

Ford raised an eyebrow. "You speak as if from experience."

Sophie lowered her gaze and fiddled with her thumbs. "I've…seen others get drunk a few times." Sophie suppressed some unpleasant memories.

Ford opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the bartender.

"A whiskey for you, and an ecliptus for the little lady." He winked at Sophie as her set down her drink and muttered, "Come around to the back door when you're done."

Ford nodded slightly, and the bartender moved on.

"Meet him in the back, huh? That's not suspicious at all." Sophie eyed her drink doubtfully.

Ford sipped his whiskey. "Blar Blar won't try to turn us in to anyone; he's had the opportunity a few times."

Sophie felt a twinge of guilt. "You never know who will turn your back on you, Ford."

"You think I don't know that? We need to finish Experiment 618; I'd rather take a chance on Blar Blar than some random guy off the street."

Sophie sighed. "Fine, but at the first sign that anything is off, we get out of here."

"Fine." Ford finished off his drink. "Drink your juice; I highly doubt that it's laced with anything."

"I'm not thirsty," said Sophie stubbornly.

"Very well." Ford took the glass and drained it. "Let's go talk to Blar Blar."

Sophie gripped the knife on her hip as she exited the bar behind Ford. She kept thinking about when she nearly turned Ford in. Ford wouldn't do the same thing to her. Right? Despite traveling with him for a few weeks now, she still knew next to nothing about his past.

Ford led the way to the back of the building and knocked softly on the door. A few locks clicked and the door swung open. Blar Blar beckoned them inside. Sophie's grip on her knife tightened as he closed and locked the door behind them. He turned around, broke into a huge grin and pulled Ford into lung-crushing hug that lifted him off the floor. "Stanford Pines! My favorite human! How are you? I didn't expect to see you around here again after all these years."

"It's good to see you, too, Blar Blar," Ford gasped.

Blar Blar set him down and walked up to Sophie. "And is this another little Pines I see? Have you been occupied since I saw you last?"

Ford turned bright red. "Uh, no she's-well, she's not-"

"I'm not his daughter," said Sophie, trying not to laugh at Ford's awkwardness, "but we're good FRIENDS!"

Blar Blar was already good-naturedly squeezing the air from her lungs. "Well then, a friend of Stanford's is a friend of mine!" He set her down. "I owe this man my life! He hitched a ride on one of my ships, but when we were invaded by a thousand pirates, he fought by my side just like a member of the crew, and fought so fiercely that it tipped the scales and sent the pirates running to their mummies! If it wasn't for him, we would have lost that day." He nearly bowled Ford over with a pat on the back.

"You exaggerate," said Ford, slightly abashed.

"Balderdash, I tell it like I see it." Blar Blar waved his hand dismissively. "Now, what was it you were here for, Stanford? What can this old bloke do for you?"

"Right. Well, we need supplies, first of all. Second of all, I never successfully made it to Avalon 9 and I still need some materials from their weapons factory. Are you still in the business of smuggling?"

Blar Blar grinned and rubbed his hands together. "I never left, although I find myself taking a break more often than not these days. But tonight, you're in luck. My brother is taking a shipment out, and he can give you a lift to Avalon 9."

"If it's any trouble-"

"No trouble at all; he's got some goods to pick up there, so he'll be heading there anyway."

"Perfect! Blar Blar, I can't thank you enough."

Blar Blar grinned wider. "Anything for an old friend."

"How long of a trip is it?" asked Sophie.

"Three standard rotations at the most."

"Three days in a tin can?" Sophie narrowed her eyes. "How do I know that your brother isn't going to pull something on us?"

Blar Blar narrowed his eyes back. "You don't trust me, do you little Sophie?"

Sophie crossed her arms. "Maybe I don't."

"Sophie…" Ford warned.

Blar Blar fixed her with a searching gaze. Sophie tried to look tough, but she had to admit that this guy was intimidating. He broke into a wide grin and pounded her on the back. "Ha! You're a savvy young lady, you are!" He held up a finger. "You can't trust everyone you meet." He put his arm around Ford. "But you can trust your six-fingered friend here to know what he's doing. And he trusts me to set him up with someone to help him off this planet who won't hand him over to collections or slit his throat. So what do you say?"

Sophie sighed. "I guess it's the best option."

Ford nodded. "Good, now let's discuss the details."

* * *

Sophie peered around the corner of a shipping container.

"What's the status?" asked Ford.

"The goods are still being loaded. Halibut is there, but he hasn't given the signal yet."

"How much longer?"

"It looks like they're almost done." Sophie snorted. "What sort of name is Halibut? He's obviously more of an elephant."

"Maybe his mother thought that it sounded exotic."

"It sounds like food. I've never heard of someone naming their kid "Pork" or "Tuna." Although, with all the parallel Earths I bet someone has." Sophie chuckled quietly. "The poor child."

"Aren't you supposed to be paying attention?"

"Relax, smart guy." Sophie peered around the corner. Halibut was looking at his wrist and tapping his foot. Sophie turned to Ford. "It's time."

Ford stood and picked up one end of the container they were behind. Sophie got the other end and they made their way to the ship. Sophie's heart pounded and the uneasy feeling from earlier came back. _What if we're caught, what if this is a trap, what if this guy works for the Federation, what if we get caught… Ford could be turning you in just like you tried to do to him, because that's what you deserve_. She shook her head. She had been present for every step of plan-making; if Ford was trying to turn her in, she would have picked up on it by now. Probably.

Sophie stiffened as the bay door shut behind them and vents hissed out oxygen and pressurized air. Spaceships always put her on edge.

Halibut showed them to a corner of the cargo hold. "Blary said he already fixed you up with supplies. If you need anything else, let me know. Toilet room is that way." He gestured to one of the two doors in the cargo hold.

Ford nodded. "Thanks."

Halibut grinned. "I like smuggling; with all the strict trading laws in this galaxy, it's nice to do something a little rebellious." He turned and walked towards the exit. "I'll come in every so often to check on you two." The door slid shut behind him.

Sophie felt slightly relieved. _So far so good._ "Day one in the tin can," she said as she shrugged off her pack.

Ford slipped off his quantum destabilizer case."This is actually one of the better ships I've been on."

"So it's a nice tin can. We could have just used the portal gun to get there."

"I don't think it does in-universe jumps."

"You could try to hot-wire it so it does."

"It's too much of a risk; it might not stand up to that much tampering."

Sophie sighed and plopped herself down on a crate. "It was worth a shot." She pulled out an old, beat-up copy of _The Hobbit_ and thumbed through the pages.

"Where did you get that?"

Sophie glanced up at Ford. "Found it."

"You stole it."

"More like acquired it from an abandoned house." Sophie turned her gaze back to the page.

"How do you know it was abandoned?"

"The whole town was abandoned. There were no signs of human life anywhere."

"So it was a parallel Earth?"

"Yep, parallel to my dimension. I got this from my parallel self's bedroom."

"That must have been…difficult."

Sophie shrugged. "Just a little unsettling."

Right then the door whooshed open and Halibut came in with two bottles of water. "I figured you two could use some extra hydration. Need anything else?"

"No, thank you, this is more than adequate."

"All right. We should get to Avalon 9 in about three standard rotations. See you folks later." He turned and walked out, the door whooshing closed behind him.

"Well, despite the name, he doesn't seem too fishy of a character," remarked Sophie.

"Ha, ha," Ford deadpanned.

Sophie snorted. "Okay, I admit that that was pretty lame. But honestly? Three days? That's forever!" Sophie smacked her book down and paced. She still had that uneasy feeling and it was making her restless.

"I was once stuck in a ship for three months, so this hardly warrants complaining."

"Well that's you, pal. I hate space ships. I'm going to go nuts in here."

"Why didn't you say so earlier?"

"Because this was the best way to get to that other planet, and you need those parts for your quantum death ray."

"Destabilizer."

"Yeah, that thing. I'm not about to slow you down from destroying a demon just because I don't like space travel."

Ford looked at her curiously. "How much do you know about Bill?"

Sophie stiffened. _A flash of yellow. High-pitched, nasal laughter that somehow inspired pure terror…_

"Sophie?"

She shook her head. "Not much. Most of what I know I've found out here and there throughout my travels."

"You never…encountered him?"

Sophie rubbed her temple. "I'm pretty sure I did…but I don't really remember it."

Ford frowned. "How do you know if you don't remember it?"

"I remember jumping into the Nightmare Realm when my dimension was falling apart, and there was yellow and a really obnoxious laugh. From what I learned of him later, it was Bill."

Ford frowned deeper. "Could he have tampered with your memory?"

"Maybe? I think most of why I don't remember is because I got a concussion."

"How?"

"Somehow, I ended up escaping from the Nightmare Realm into another dimension and hit my head on the landing. Kira found and took care of me. I probably wouldn't have survived if it wasn't for her." Sophie sat on a shipping crate. "How do you know Bill? And how does he know you? At least half of your wanted posters are from him."

Ford sighed. "He tried to take over my dimension. I didn't let him, and through unfortunate circumstances I ended up in his realm. I aim to destroy him once and for all so he'll leave my universe alone, as well as any others he may have his eye on." Ford kept his eyes on the ground. He looked determined, but a little sad and…ashamed? Of what? Sophie wanted to ask, but she didn't comment on it. Ford would tell her when he was ready. One question was bugging her, though.

"Was he responsible for the inter-dimensional portal that you got pushed into?"

Ford furrowed his brow. "Yes, I suppose he was."

Sophie frowned. "But if he doesn't have a physical body, how did the portal get into your world? Unless he got his demented buddies to do it…was he trying to come into your world but you ended up in his instead?"

Ford got to his feet. "Something like that."

Sophie watched him go to the "toilet room" and shut the door. She sighed. There was more to the story than Ford was letting on, but it felt like he still didn't trust her enough to tell her. She could see pain in his eyes, though he hid it most of the time. Whenever Bill was brought up he would get a little more tense, a little more closed off. Like he was afraid. _Afraid of what?_ Sophie shuddered at the memory of pure fear and maniacal laughter. _What happened to make Ford so determined to personally destroy a demon?_

* * *

Hours passed. Sophie drifted in and out of sleep to the sound of Ford writing in his journal. He had been quiet ever since Sophie brought up Bill. She had decided to let the matter rest for the time being.

Suddenly the entire ship shuddered with a deep __boom.__ Sophie jumped to her feet and stumbled as the floor tilted. She felt a jolt of panic; Ford was nowhere in sight. The bathroom door opened and he burst out, glasses askew.

"What was that?"

"Darned if I know!" Sophie followed Ford to the door to the hallway. It was locked. "I guess we'll have to do this the hard way." Sophie pulled out a small charge and detonator.

"Wait! Halibut might come to check on us."

"I doubt it, he's probably too busy trying to keep us from crashing." Alarms blared. "That can't be good."

"This is a smuggling vessel; it's probably police or pirates."

"Or it could be an asteroid," Sophie offered hopefully. Another deep boom resounded through the ship.

"That didn't sound like an asteroid."

"Okay, just trying to be positive here."

Ford drew his gun. "If you don't blow the door down, we might get lucky and avoid detection."

"Come on, the first thing they go for is the cargo."

Ford snorted. "Just trying to be positive."

Sophie rolled her eyes. "Typical Ford, throwing my own words back at me."

"Typical Sophie, showing an adolescent attitude in a dangerous situation."

Sophie cocked an eyebrow. "You don't need to be a teenager to have an attitude." They heard muffled shouts on the other side of the door. Sophie drew her sword. "Looks like we're going to entertain some visitors," she said grimly.

"Indeed." A molten hole appeared in the corner of the door.

Sophie pulled a stun grenade from her belt. "As soon as that door opens, close your eyes and cover your ears."

"Why?"

She held up the grenade. "I'm going to throw this, and I don't want to bust your eardrums."

They waited in tense silence as a molten line kept growing along the edge of the door. As soon as the metal hit the ground, Sophie threw the stun grenade and shut her eyes and ears just as it went off. The light was bright even from behind her eyelids. The room exploded in light and noise then filled with thick smoke. Sophie couldn't help but be proud; she had made that particular grenade herself. She and Ford pushed past the handful of dazed and confused pirates _(they were definitely pirates)_ and ran through the halls.

"Look, a map!" Sophie pointed to a glowing screen with several lines and alien words labeling different parts of the ship.

"Brilliant!" Ford studied it for a minute and pointed out what appeared to be a large, open area near the front of the ship. "That's the bridge."

"How can you tell?"

"Because it's labeled." Ford pointed to some alien runes on the map.

"You can read that?"

"For the most part, yes. It's one of thirteen languages that I've learned."

"Wow, you really are a genius."

Ford shrugged. "I'm sure you could learn just as many languages with some time and effort." Footsteps resounded from around the corner behind them. "Let's move."

Sophie ran beside Ford towards the bridge. They rounded corner after corner, ran through hallway after hallway. For a frightening minute, Sophie thought that they were lost. Then Ford stopped suddenly and peered around the corner. Sophie poked her head out under his. A large hole and a mess of twisted metal that used to be double doors was at the end of the hall, along with a handful of pirates coming straight towards them with prisoners in tow. One of the prisoners was Halibut. Sophie flattened herself against the wall alongside Ford.

"We need to take them by surprise," said Ford.

"So, should we wait until they're just about to come around the corner?"

Ford sized up the ceiling. "Yes. You stand in the hall until they're all around the corner, and I'll drop down behind them."

Sophie glanced up. "You can stay up there that long?"

"Watch me." Ford pressed his hands and feet against the walls, climbed up, and pressed himself to the ceiling.

Sophie gawked in awe before remembering her part and flattening herself against the wall, just in time for the pirates to round the corner.

"And just who do you think you're hiding from?" said one of the pirates.

Sophie jumped out. "Avast, ye scurvy dogs! Come and get me, ye lily-livered landlubbers!"

The pirates scowled. "I don't understand that strange human jargon, but you're ours!" shouted the leader of the group.

Sophie retreated as the pirates charged. She glanced back and saw Ford drop from the ceiling, and turned to fight. She ducked as a bullet grazed her shoulder and managed to bury a few throwing knives into the pirates in front of her. The prisoners fought with their bare hands and picked up weapons from fallen pirates until all the pirates were subdued.

Halibut raised a rifle blaster. "Good ol' Pines, saving the day again!"

"We're not out of the woods yet," said Ford. "This entire ship is swarming with pirates. Where are the escape pods?"

"This way!" Halibut led them around a few turns and punched in the password to a door that opened into a large hangar full of ships.

"I call this the hidden hangar! Few know of this place, and it's not on the ship's maps."

Suddenly a door at the other end of the hangar blasted open and a swarm of pirates streamed out.

"To the ships!" shouted Halibut.

"Go ahead, we'll hold them off!" said Ford.

Sophie drew two more throwing knives and followed Ford into the fray.

Ford fired his blaster while Sophie threw and slashed at will. More and more pirates kept coming. Sophie lobbed a grenade at a fresh group coming through the door, earning a few seconds of respite. "Ford, there are too many of them. We can't keep this up."

"Go start one of the ships; I'll jump on behind you."

"But I don't know anything about flying a ship!"

Ford turned to her. "Do you think you can hold them off?"

Sophie grinned. "Of course I can, smart guy."

Ford sprinted towards the nearest ship, a small shuttle, while Sophie lobbed another grenade at a new swarm of pirates and fought off the ones that survived the blast. _Come on, Ford._ She saw the shuttle light up out of the corner of her eye and lift off the ground. A ladder extended from the door in the side. Sophie made a note of its location, threw a stun grenade and sprinted to the ladder, scrambling up as smoke filled the hangar. The ladder retracted, the door shut and the shuttle took off into space.

"Hang on!" said Ford as Sophie made her way to the co-pilot seat.

"What are you doing?"

"Putting us in hyper drive. It's a good thing Blar Blar gave us the coordinates to Avalon 9."

"I'll say."

Ford pressed a few more buttons. A computerized voice said, "Entering light speed travel in three, two, one." Sophie gripped her seat as the shuttle shot into space. It smoothed out after a few seconds of turbulence.

Sophie pumped her fist. "Yeah! Eat it, space pirates!" She turned to Ford. "That was so cool! You totally hung on the ceiling like Spider Man, and then we fought off those pirates, and you just happen to know how to fly a freaking space ship…Ford, you're the coolest old guy I've ever met."

Ford chuckled. "Thanks, kid. When you travel the multiverse as long as I have, you pick up a few things."

"Heh, yeah. You're like a kick-butt space grandpa."

Ford shifted awkwardly. "I couldn't exactly be a grandpa; I never had kids."

"Oh. Well, you can be a space uncle, then."

Ford mulled it over. "That's actually not bad."

Sophie grinned. "Space uncle it is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been trying to work in when Sophie starts calling Ford her space uncle, and I'm so happy to have finally reached that point. Reviews, comments and kudos are all welcome. :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next installment in the adventures of Ford and Sophie, inter-dimensional outlaws. Enjoy! (There are nightmares in this chapter, so be warned.)

"Are we there yet?"

Ford groaned. "For the one hundred and fifty seventh time, no. When we get there, I will tell you. Until then, I would appreciate it if you didn't-"

"Are we there now?"

"-ask," Ford finished dryly. "We have at least another 48 hours."

Sophie rolled her head back and let out an exaggerated groan. "Two more days? When we land, I am so kissing the ground."

Ford observed the display with an unimpressed frown. "With all those dramatics, you would have excelled in the theatre."

Sophie grinned. "Yes, I would have. I wanted to be actress back when my life was normal."

"Well, there's probably a parallel dimension where that dream came true."

Sophie frowned. "Well that's great for parallel me, I guess." She knocked on the metal wall. "How solid is this thing, anyway?"

"I assume that it's as well- built as the larger ship that we launched it from."

"So we won't, I don't know, drop out of hyperdrive and get stuck in the middle of space?"

"I'd say that there's a very low probability." He glanced up from the controls. "You don't need to worry about the soundness of this shuttle."

Sophie glanced out the window. "What? I'm not worried, what are you talking about? I'm just, uh, restless! Yeah! From being cooped up in a tiny floating air pocket in the middle of nowhere that could malfunction any second and kill us because space would suck the oxygen from our lungs…"

Ford raised his eyebrows.

"But who's worried about that? Totally irrational fear. Yup." Sophie crossed her arms. "It's not bothering me at all."

"You could have just told me that you're claustrophobic."

"I'm not claustrophobic! I can handle small spaces if I know can leave them, it's just…space ships are so…enclosed. Locked up. Not a lot of room." Sophie fiddled with one of her knives.

"Well, you only have about 47 hours and fifty nine minutes left to worry about it."

Sophie groaned. "Maybe we could make a more detailed plan?"

"We've already gone over the plan, several times. We'll land a mile or so away from the factory, create a distraction for the guards, sneak in, grab the part we need, sneak out, and leave this dimension."

"Hmm." Sophie frowned and glanced around the cockpit. "Can you show me how to work this thing? It would be cool to know how to fly a space ship…if I'm ever that desperate."

"One this small is technically a shuttle, but I can show you the basics."

Sophie sat in the co-pilot seat. Ford pointed to a handle. "This is the throttle. Push it forward to go, pull it back to slow down or stop. On this particular model, if you push it all the way forward from a standstill it takes twenty to thirty seconds for the boosters to kick in. If you slowly ease it forward, the ship will accelerate sooner but at a slower speed." Sophie nodded. Ford went on to show her the different controls. Some of them he didn't recognize, but he was able to show her how to land, take off, speed up, slow down and activate the hyper drive. Sophie memorized it, glad to have a distraction.

"Do most space ships have the same controls?"

"It differs with each dimension; I've just flown so many space ships that it's become easier for me to figure out the controls. Fortunately for us, I was already familiar with this design."

"Pilot of all space ships, huh?"

Ford shrugged. "Just another thing that comes with experience. Do you want to try and land us when we get to the planet?"

Sophie held her hands up. "Oh no, I'll only fly one of these things if I have to. I don't want to get us killed."

"Very well." Ford turned back to the controls.

Sophie studied them silently, going over a mental checklist of which button or lever did what. She stared out of the cockpit, mesmerized by the stars and galaxies flying by as speeds faster than light. It made her dizzy and she switched her gaze back to the controls, thoughts turning to her earlier conversation with Ford about Bill. Some things weren't adding up. Obviously, Ford was leaving out some significant details, and Sophie couldn't figure out why. She wanted to ask, but Ford would probably just dodge the subject again. Still, he practically forced her to tell him about her past…at least, significant parts of her past that she rarely told anyone. She wanted answers.

"Ford?"

"Hmm?"

Sophie took a deep breath. "There's something you're not telling me."

Ford tensed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I think you do. What exactly happened between you and Bill?"

"I told you, he tried to take over my dimension, and I wouldn't let him."

"But that's not everything, is it?"

"I told you everything that was important." Ford was trying to sound nonchalant, but Sophie could sense the strain in his voice.

"Then why are you so closed off about it? Seriously, every time it's brought up you get all up tight and defensive."

Ford crossed his arms and hunched his shoulders. "I do not get defensive!"

"Your whole body language shows that you're trying to hide something! For a old man who's been traveling the multiverse for thirty years, you sure can be bad liar!"

"What I do and don't disclose about my past is none of your business, young lady!"

Sophie bristled. "You're not my dad, you don't have the right to talk to me like that!"

"I have every right to not talk about personal things that I'd rather not share with anyone!"

"Oh yeah? I had every right to not talk about Kira, but you pushed me into it by calling me a dumb kid that you would rather leave behind!"

"I didn't call you a dumb kid!"

"Well you might as well have!"

"Why are you even asking me about this! Do you just want to dig up all my past mistakes?"

"I want you to trust me!"

Ford blinked.

Sophie's eyes widened. Her mind went back to the day she met Ford. She backed away. "I-I didn't mean-I don't know why I just-"

"It's fine." Ford sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Listen, I do trust you, there are just certain things that I'd rather not talk about."

"Why not?"

"I don't think that you're ready to hear it."

Sophie clenched her fists. "Just because you've been hopping dimensions longer than I have doesn't mean that I haven't seen my fill of things. I've seen nearly everyone I love die before my eyes, and I killed the people responsible for one of their deaths. I've lived in slums, slept in gutters, and eaten bugs. I think I can handle whatever it is about your past that you haven't told me."

"It will have to wait."

Sophie stomped her foot. "You're impossible!" She stormed to the small storage closet at the back of the shuttle and shut herself in, curling up in the darkness. _Why does Ford have to be so stubborn? What could he possibly be hiding? Does he actually trust me, or was he just saying that?_ Sophie stewed and turned the conversation over in her head as the hum of the engine and surrounding darkness lulled her to sleep…

* * *

Sophie's eyes snapped open. She stood in her own back yard, aged wooden targets swinging at different heights and angles from a large oak tree. The surrounding property was nothing but barren fields under an overcast sky on the verge of rain. She wore her old leather belt, the one her dad had given her, with rows of knives dangling from sheathes. Her old house was there, a large picture of her family in the window that she didn't remember being there before. _What is this place?_

"HIYA, CARROTS!"

Sophie whirled around and threw her knife at a yellow triangle with little black arms and legs and a top hat.

"WHOA, NO NEED TO GET ALL ANTSY, KID! I'M JUST SAYING HI!"

Sophie's eyes widened. _Yellow, obnoxious voice, top hat, triangle _…__ "You're…Bill?"

"THAT'S MY NAME, KID! NICE TO SEE THAT YOU RECOGNIZE ME."

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" Sophie hurled knife after knife at the demon until there were no more on her belt. She reached into in her boot but her usual spares weren't there.

"HAHA! SORRY TO BREAK IT TO YOU, CARROTS, BUT THOSE THINGS DON'T WORK ON ME."

Sophie threw whatever rocks she could find. "Don't call me that! Get out!" The rocks phased through Bill and thumped to the ground.

"LOOK, KID, IT'S REALLY POINTLESS TO KEEP THROWING STUFF-"

Sophie grabbed another rock and hurled it at Bill. "I told you to leave!"

"DON'T YOU WANT TO-"

"No deals! I'm not stupid!"

"I'M NOT HERE FOR A DEAL."

Sophie threw an empty glass root beer bottle at Bill. It phased through him and shattered on the ground. She glared at the triangle. "What do you want?"

"I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY PAL, STANFORD."

Sophie frowned. "Your pal?"

"OH YEAH, FORDSY AND I GO WAY BACK. HE MADE A DEAL WITH ME SO I COULD ENTER HIS MIND WHENEVER I WANTED TO."

Sophie clenched her fists. "You're lying! Ford is way too smart to be tricked by you!"

"FUNNY, HE FELL FOR YOUR TRAP EASILY ENOUGH WHEN YOU TRIED TO TURN HIM IN."

Sophie shrank back. "That's...that's different."

"IT'S NOT AND YOU KNOW IT."

"You-you're a literal demon! Ford wouldn't make a deal with you!"

"YOU THINK SO? YOU REALLY, REALLY, THINK SO?"

"Y-yeah!"

"HA! YEAH, RIGHT! I CAN SEE THE NEURONS FIRING IN YOUR PUNY MORTAL GRAY MATTER! YOU KNOW THAT FORDSY WILL FALL FOR ANYTHING IF YOU DANGLE A CARROT IN FRONT OF HIM AND TELL HIM WHAT HE WANTS TO HEAR, _DON'T YOU?"_

Sophie covered her ears. "Stop it!"

"STILL IN DENIAL? ADORABLE! HERE, I'LL JUST SHOW YOU ONE OF HIS MEMORIES." Bill snapped his fingers. Sophie cautiously opened her eyes. The world faded to a dark study with Ford, younger and with no gray in his hair, eagerly shaking hands with Bill.

_"Then it's a deal, from now until the end of time."_

_"JUST LET ME INTO YOUR MIND, STANFORD."_

_"Please, call me…a friend."_   Ford's hand clasped around Bill's and was engulfed in blue flames. The memory flashed to Ford with inhuman, yellow slitted eyes laughing with a nightmarish blend of Bill's voice and his own. It again shifted to Ford and another man standing in front of a large, inverted triangle with a gaping hole in the middle. _The inter-dimensional portal._ The images faded back to Sophie's back yard, Bill floating in front of her.

Sophie shook her head. "Th-that was just an image, a projection. That doesn't prove anything!"

"OH, SURE IT DOES. WHY DO YOU THINK FORDSY WOULDN'T ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS?"

"You're just messing with me. Now-now get out!"

Bill laughed, a loud, high-pitched laugh that sent shivers down Sophie's spine and conjured up vague memories of terror. "NOT CONVINCED YET?"

"How-how do I know that that was actually a memory, huh? You could just be--manipulating my subconscious, or something."

"OH, YEAH? WHAT ABOUT THIS?" Bill snapped his fingers. The sky turned blue, the fields turned green, the targets were brighter. Sophie jumped as her younger self ran past her, followed by…Sophie felt all the air leave her lungs. Her dad. Smiling. Happy. Alive. Sophie reached a hand out as he walked past, but it went right through him; nothing more than a memory.

His eyes crinkled at the corners and sparkled with a smile. "Looks like someone is eager to show off."

Sophie's younger self bounced excitedly. "I'm just really excited that I finally got this down! I'm like the knife-throwing equivalent of Legolas!"

Sophie's dad laughed. "Alright, my little spitfire, let's see what you've got."

Memory Sophie took a deep breath and a moment to center herself. Then she attacked the targets on the tree, hurling knife after knife until each target had a blade in its center. She smiled as the memory faded, the targets aged again and the sky went back to a dull gray.

Sophie stared at the spot where the memory of her dad had stood. She remembered that day well; the first time she hit every target perfectly in the center, right after her twelfth birthday and a few months before her world was destroyed. She missed the days when knife throwing meant spending time with her dad and not fighting for her life.

"SO WHAT DO YOU SAY, KID? REAL OR NOT REAL?"

Sophie jumped, angry and terrified that Bill had been there the whole time. "That was a private memory! How did you access that?"

Bill shrugged. "IT WAS CLOSE TO THE SURFACE, KID, EASY AS A SNAP OF MY FINGERS. SO, ARE YOU CONVINCED NOW?"

Sophie frowned, disoriented from the memory and emotions it brought with it. "Convinced of what?"

Bill pinched his eyelid in annoyance. "OH, FOR THE LOVE OF-CONVINCED THAT THE MEMORIES OF FORD THAT I SHOWED YOU WERE REAL."

Sophie frowned. Bill had just shown her a very accurate, very personal memory that she had never shared with anyone that was still alive. But he was a dream demon. He could make stuff up…right? Fear spread through her like a poison. There suddenly wasn't enough air. Sophie clenched her fists to force them to stop shaking and gathered up what little courage she had left. "Get. Out. Now."

"HA! SO YOU ARE CONVINCED! SEE HOW EASY THAT WAS?"

"I never said that I-"

"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO. OH BY THE WAY, BECAUSE FORDSY MADE THAT DEAL WITH ME, I CAN POSSESS HIM ANY TIME I WANT!"

Sophie shook her head. "No…"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK HE DOES WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP? I COULD BE POSSESSING HIM RIGHT NOW!" Bill let out a high-pitched laugh.

"No! You're-you're wrong!"

"AM I? AM I REALLY?" Thousands of images swirled around Sophie of Ford building an inter-dimensional portal, being possessed by Bill, writing in a journal with a gold, six-fingered hand print on the cover, all overshadowed by the image of Ford's hand clasped in Bill's, surrounded by blue flame as Bill's laughter echoed endlessly.

Sophie jolted awake, drenched in sweat, Bill's laughter still ringing in her thoughts. She leaped to her feet and opened the closet door.

Ford sat with his back to her, scribbling in his journal.

Sophie gripped the knife on her hip and fought to keep her voice steady. "Ford, turn around."

Ford stopped writing and set his journal down. "If this is about our earlier conversation-"

"Turn around now!"

Ford stiffened and turned around. The glare from the shuttle's interior lights reflected off his glasses. "Sophie, what's-"

"Glasses off, I need to see your eyes." Sophie couldn't keep the tremor out of her voice.

Horrified recognition spread across Ford's features as he removed his glasses. His eyes were the usual brown with round pupils, completely human. Sophie felt a small bit of relief.

"Sophie…did Bill get into your head?"

Sophie took a step back, eyeing Ford warily. "How do you know that? Did your little triangle friend tell you? Is he in your head right now?"

"No, I-Sophie, what happened? Did he hurt you?" Ford looked genuinely concerned.

"No, but he showed me memories. Your memories."

Ford's eyes widened.

Sophie's gut twisted. "He showed you making a deal with him that let him into your mind, 'from now until the end of time,' but he was lying…right?"

Ford dropped his gaze to the floor.

No _ _…__ "Right? Stanford Pines, please tell me that you didn't make a deal with Bill Cipher."

Ford sighed. "I can explain-"

Sophie took another step back on trembling knees, gripping the knife on her hip. "Explain what? Was all that talk about destroying Bill a lie? What kind of game are you playing, Ford? Has Bill been possessing you this whole time? Is that what you weren't telling me?!"

"Sophie trust me, that's not-"

"Why should I trust you?!"

"Bill tricked me! He fed me flattery and lies, convinced me to make a deal with him and build an inter-dimensional portal, and used me to try to destroy my universe! And I was a fool for trusting him!"

Sophie stepped back further. "He said he could still possess you at any time. What if he possesses you right now?"

"He can't." Ford held up a fist and knocked on his head. A metallic ring resounded through the air.

Sophie's eyes widened.

"A metal plate in my head was the only way to keep him from possessing me again." Ford shifted his gaze to the window, his shoulders drooping and hands behind his back. He looked…older, weighed down with sorrow and regret. "I was young, desperate for answers to complete my research of Gravity Falls, a town full of strange creatures and anomalies. Bill told me that he was a muse, and I was naive enough to fall for his act. He cost me everything: my hopes, my best friend, even my sanity for a time. Trusting him was the worst mistake I ever made."

Sophie's mind whirled. It all made sense now; the way he shrunk from a handshake, the way he always tensed when Bill was brought up. Ford had been tricked by Bill, but was ashamed to talk about it. He __had__ made a pretty huge mistake; almost letting a demon into your universe was serious stuff.

But Sophie had done a lot of things that she was ashamed of and had never told anyone about. Like trying to turn Ford in for bounty. _Tricked. Lied. Used._ She had acted like Bill; the thought made her sick. She glanced at Ford, who still faced the window. _He deserves to know the truth._ Sophie shook her head. _As soon as he finds out what I almost did to him, he'll drop me off at the nearest planet._ The other, calmer voice, the one Sophie had been squashing for years, insisted, _he deserves to know, for your peace and his._ Sophie glanced at Ford, gaze still fixed on the window, and took a deep breath. "I uh, need to tell you something, too."

Ford turned to her with a quizzical expression.

"When--when I first rescued you from those bandits, and led you into that other dimension with the promise of getting the parts for the quantum death ray-"

"Destabilizer."

"Yeah, that. I led you to that camp because I knew you had a bounty on your head, and I-I was trying to turn you in." Sophie's cheeks colored in shame. She couldn't look Ford in the eye. "I got captured because the crime lord realized that I had a bounty on me, too. When I was tied up in that tent, all I could think of was how much fame and fortune I lost by getting captured. I didn't care about you; I just...wanted the price on your head." Sophie studied the floor.

Ford remained silent.

"But then, you--you came back. You rescued me, and helped me to escape, even though I didn't deserve it. You showed me that there are still good people in the multiverse. You gave me hope, something that I thought I'd given up on, and you reminded me that I could survive the multiverse and still be a decent person." Sophie glanced at Ford's boots. "I guess what I really need to say is thank you." Sophie rubbed the back of her neck. "And I'm sorry. For uh, trying to turn you in." Sophie dared to look up at Ford. He flicked his gaze back to the window.

"It seems that we've both made mistakes."

Sophie fiddled with her knife handle. "Yeah. But we're both doing our best to fix them."

"Yes, I suppose so."

Sophie shifted awkwardly. "Look, I get it if you don't trust me any more."

Ford said nothing.

Sophie bit her lip. _He doesn't. He wouldn't. There's no reason for him to._

"I think, considering all we've been through so far, along with your actions over the past few weeks…I think I do-oof!"

Sophie tackled Ford with a a bear hug and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to hold back tears. "I trust you, too, smart guy."

Ford gradually relaxed and wrapped his arms around Sophie. She smiled, relief washing over her in waves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it; now Sophie knows Ford's darkest secret. As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the third installment of what was going to be just one chapter. Enjoy! :)

   

It was dark when they landed near to the weapon factory. Sophie promptly jumped ship and smooched the ground. "Land! Glorious land!"

Ford looked baffled. "You actually kissed the ground."

Sophie wiped dirt off her mouth. "What can I say? I'm a woman of my word."

Ford shook his head. "I suppose I should be used to it by now."

They hiked for a mile or so, following a map that Halibut had given them, and found a small grove of scrubby trees just far enough away from the facility to avoid detection. Ford pulled out a pair of night vision binoculars and scanned the area. Sophie followed suit. She gasped and zoomed in on three figures that looked oddly familiar, skulking near the factory. "Impossible…"

"What is it?" asked Ford.

"Bounty hunters, three of them."

"How can you tell from here?"

Sophie zoomed in on their faces. Familiar faces…anger churned in her gut. "I've seen them before. But what the heck are they doing here?"

"Those pirates could have hired them to track us down."

"Or Bill could have sent them. Those suckers will do anything for anyone with enough money." The bounty hunters disappeared around a corner of the fence. "I'll take care of them while you go inside and get the part that you need. I have a bone to pick with those three."

"Are you sure that you can take all of them on?"

Sophie gave Ford a look. "I single-handedly took down three assassins that were twice as dangerous as those guys. I can handle this."

Ford narrowed his eyes. "Did you take them on all at once?"

"Well, no, it was one at a time. But trust me, it'll be fine."

"Just be careful. I may not be able to help if anything goes wrong."

Sophie make finger guns. "You got it, smart guy. Hmm. We're just leaving the ship here, right? We won't need it later?"

"Yes…what are you planning?"

Sophie smirked. "I'm going to trick those suckers into leaving the planet. They knew me when I was young and naive, and they took advantage of that. It's time to turn the tables."

"But won't they try to capture you?"

"Oh, no, to them I'm Lilian Skywalker, amateur bounty hunter. They don't know about the price on my head." Sophie took a cloak from her bag and tossed it on to cover up her knives, and strapped a blaster to her belt.

Ford grinned. "Star Wars reference?"

Sophie grinned back. "I'm glad to know that both our dimensions at least have that in common." Sophie frowned. "How are you going to get into the factory without getting caught?"

"By using the perfect distraction." Ford held up a black ball.

"Some kind of super-grenade?"

"Better. It's full of robo-arachnids. When I throw this, it will burst open and hundreds of micro robotic spiders will come out with enough venom to put anyone to sleep for four hours."

"That's awesome! Well, terrifying for the victims, but awesome!"

"I thought so. I'll throw this and find a way past the fence while you distract those bounty hunters."

Sophie nodded thoughtfully. "That's great for an outside distraction, but what about once you get inside? I doubt you'll be able to waltz in undetected." Sophie pulled out two stun grenades. "Take these, and if you see any more grenades in there, snag a few, would you?"

Ford nodded as he slipped the grenades into his pocket. "I'll keep an eye out."

"Thanks." Sophie glanced towards the facility. "We can rendezvous here. When I round the corner of the building, go ahead."

Ford nodded. "Be careful."

Sophie grinned as she pulled up her hood. "I'll be effective, I can't guarantee the careful part." She headed towards the wire mesh fence. As she approached she heard the hum of electricity. _Jeez, how much amperage is running through that thing?_ She put on a nonchalant air as she rounded the corner of the fence. The bounty hunters were in a circle, apparently in a deep discussion. She slipped on a winning smile and swaggered up to them.

"Hey, guys! Long time no see! Gerald, Olga, Kevin. How are my fine feline friends?"

Gerald rolled his eyes. "Oh great, it's the toddler from Earth."

Olga eyed her haughtily as her tail twitched. "What are you doing here, Skywalker? Trying to ruin our plans with your childish bumbling?"

Sophie crossed her arms. "The way I remember it, you bumbled your own plans, blamed me, and marooned me on an asteroid."

"Look kid, we left you with a bunch of goods," said Gerald. "Besides, you were weighing down the ship."

"As opposed the the thirteen tons of cargo you tried to haul in a vessel that was clearly rated for ten?" Sophie repressed her anger. "But that's all in the past. What brings all of you out here, anyway?"

Olga smirked. "Nothing you need to concern yourself with."

Sophie smirked back. "So, it wouldn't have anything to do with Stanford Pines?"

The bounty hunters stared at her with a mixture of hunger, surprise and suspicion. "What is it to you, child?" sneered Olga.

"Oh, just that I know where his getaway ship is landed and I can show you where it is…if you swear that you'll give me my cut of the bounty."

"You always were good at finding things," muttered Kevin.

"Shut up, Kevin," Olga snapped. She turned to Sophie. "Where is this ship?"

Sophie crossed her arms. "Swear that you'll give me twenty-five percent of the bounty, and I'll show you."

Olga fixed Sophie with a cold stare. Her nose twitched. "I could give you a souvenir with my claws if you don't tell me now."

Sophie scowled back. "I could give you a bigger souvenir with my sword. I'm not the needy little kid I used to be; your threats don't work any more."

Olga's eyes widened momentarily before narrowing in annoyance. "Fine! I swear, on my honor as a bounty hunter, that I will give Lilian Skywalker a portion of-"

"Twenty-five percent."

"-Twenty-five percent of the bounty collected for Stanford Pines. Happy?"

Sophie clicked the button on a recording device and smirked. "Very. Getaway ship is this way." The bounty hunters followed her to the shuttle in silence. She pressed a button on the side and the door slid open. Sophie gestured to the storage closet at the back of the shuttle as the bounty hunters crowded in."We can hide in there and wait until he's off planet, then BAM! We jump out, take control of the ship, and the bounty is ours."

Olga narrowed her eyes. "If you're so grown up, why didn't you do this yourself? Why involve us?"

Sophie gave her a look. "Great as I am at bounty hunting, this is Stanford Pines. The few lucky souls who have actually managed to capture him could never keep a hold of him long enough to collect the bounty. He's always managed to escape. But together we outnumber him four to one, so this should be a cinch."

"Fine, but if anything goes wrong I'm blaming you."

Sophie put on a scowl. "Don't you go messing anything up, either. This is my chance to get a name for myself so the crime lords will finally take me seriously."

Olga made an offended noise. "As if _I_ would be the one to ruin this operation. You're but an infant compared to my years of seniority and experience."

Sophie scoffed. "It's not my fault I don't have nine lives. Now get your furry butt in the closet before Pines catches us all standing awkwardly in his ship."

Olga looked down on Sophie with contempt. "Since when did you tell me what to do?"

"Like I said, I'm not a scared little girl anymore desperate for company. I'm only involving you in this plan to make sure that Stanford doesn't escape; he's famous for that."

Olga's tail twitched as she narrowed her eyes. "Just remember that I can claw you to shreds."

Sophie gripped her knife. "I'd like to see you try."

Gerald groaned. "Can you females quit fighting? What if Pines came in right now? We'd totally lose the element of surprise."

Olga glared at Gerald. "Fine, let's stuff ourselves in that tiny space like so many sardines and wait for that six-fingered human to come."

The bounty hunters crowded into the storage closet. It was a tight squeeze with just the three of them. __Perfect,__ thought Sophie. "Tell you what, how about I stay in the cockpit, and when I see Fo-Stanford coming I'll just hide under the controls."

Olga cocked her head. "What was that that you almost said?"

 _Crap._ "Stanford. I said Stanford."

"But you almost called him something else."

"It doesn't matter, Olga, just get in the closet."

Olga leaned closer to Sophie and sniffed. She hissed and bared her teeth. "I knew it! Stanford Pines' scent is all over you, and yours is all over this ship just as much as his! You're working for him! This is all a trap, isn't it?"

Sophie kept her expression neutral. "I was pretending to work for him so I could keep track of his location. You know how much I want to succeed as a bounty hunter, this was just another ploy."

"Then why didn't you just knock him out or drug him in his sleep in the three days it took you to get here?"

Sophie shrugged. "I ran out of juice. I used up all my stuff and haven't had a chance to restock."

"A lame excuse, one that I'm sure the Federation will enjoy hearing."

Sophie's eyes widened briefly before she schooled her expression. "What does the Federation have to do with this?"

"I've traveled to a few different dimensions since we last...parted ways. You bear a striking resemblance to Sophia Kardos; it's uncanny, really."

Sophie shrugged, struggling to hide her internal panic. "So she's a parallel version of me; big deal. A lot of people have made the same mistake."

Olga bared her claws. "Please, Kardos, enough with the games. You've gotten better at lying, but when I mentioned the Federation you gave yourself away."

Sophie hurled a knife at Olga. Olga caught in midair, by the handle. Sophie gulped. _Crap._ She threw down the power switch. The ship hummed to life and hovered off the ground. "You can have me, but keep your filthy paws off of Stanford Pines." Olga growled. Sophie subtly pulled a pin out of a stun grenade on the back of her belt. "I'm taking you all on a little trip to nowhere." She shoved the throttle up with one hand as she tossed the stun grenade with her other hand. Olga lunged, claws splayed. Sophie ducked and covered her ears as the stun grenade went off.

Olga crashed into the control panel and yowled and hissed along with the other two cats at the sudden burst of light and noise. Sophie slashed the control panel with her sword and ran for the side door, mentally counting down the seconds. Olga's claws caught the edge of her cloak and yanked her back. She sliced it off, opened the side door and jumped out. "So long, suckers!"

"Curse you, Skywalker!" screamed Olga a split second before the shuttle zoomed off into the horizon.

Sophie tucked and rolled to soften her landing and looked up in time to see the shuttle disappear in the distance. "That's Kardos to you, jerk." She jogged back to the stand of trees. The factory glowed orange in several places, illuminating the column of smoke above it. Ford wasn't there. __Crap.__ Sophie ran up to the fence, blasted a hole and sprinted towards the chaos.

The ground was littered with unconscious guards. Terrified factory workers ran from robo spiders while a few of them scrambled to hook up hoses to fight the flames. Panicked workers streamed from the building. Sophie dodged through the crowd, looking for Ford as she tried not to get run over. He was nowhere in sight. She pulled her scarf up over her mouth and entered the building.

One of the workers grabbed her by the shoulder. "Are you crazy? Don't go back in there! Once the fire reaches the upper floor, this whole place explodes!"

Sophie twisted away from the worker's grip. "But my uncle is in there! I have to find him!"

"If you have a death wish, go ahead. But I'm warning you; if you get stuck, no one will come to save you."

"I'll keep that in mind," Sophie called over her shoulder as she ran further into the building. All the doors were open and the air was filled with thickening smoke that made Sophie's eyes water. "Ford!" She ran through rooms and corridors, calling out his name. She tried to quell the rising panic in her chest. _Maybe he already left…or maybe he's stuck somewhere _-__ she rounded a corner and Ford barreled into her, knocking her to the ground.

"Sophie? What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you don't get roasted alive, genius!"

"I had everything under control!" Ford ran towards the exit.

Sophie rolled her eyes as she ran beside him. "Sure you did. How did this place even catch fire?"

"Aside from the part that I needed, I found what I thought were more stun grenades. They turned out to be incendiary." Ford stopped short and threw his arm in front of Sophie as a flaming beam crashed down and blocked their path, spraying sparks and cinders.

Sophie frantically looked for another way out. They were trapped. Explosions shook the ground and caused more chunks of the building to come crashing down. "Portal gun, now!"

Ford had it in his hand. "Already there!" He blasted a hole in reality. Sophie jumped with him through the swirling blue disk, a blast of smoke and hot air following them into the next dimension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was a lot of fun to write. I can't guarantee when the next one will be up what with school starting and everything, but it's coming. As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. Good luck, all you fellow students!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, an update!

Ford fixed a lens into the barrel of the quantum destabilizer. "Perfect! Now all we need is a power source."

Sophie threw another log on the fire. "So, now we're looking for super powerful alien batteries?"

"Something like that. Basically, we need an element that's powerful enough to disassemble Bill's molecular make-up, yet stable enough so it doesn't blow up in my face."

"Right. Anything else?"

Ford looked the weapon over. "If my calculations are correct, once we find a power source for the quantum destabilizer, we'll be ready to face Bill."

"Really? That's it?"

"Yes, that's it." Ford closed the quantum destabilizer's case with a click.

"Wow…it's hard to believe that that's all was have left."

"Yes, well, it could still be a long time yet before we find what we need. It's already taken me…" Ford thought for a moment. "…nearly thirty years now. I think. Yeesh, has it really been that long? It's hard to tell with all the different dimensions and time measurements."

"Yeah." Sophie gazed into the flames, watching reds, blues and yellows dance across the coals. "Heh, it's weird; when I think of my life before my dimension collapsed, it just seems like a dream, like this is the only reality that I know and anything that happened before is an illusion."

Ford nodded. "I know what you mean. With all the dimensions I've been to, sometimes I feel as if I've lived a hundred different lives."

Sophie propped her chin up on her fists. "What are some of the crazier dimensions you've been to?"

Ford thought for a moment, then frowned in disgust. "Well, there's the 'M Dimension.'"

"Okay?"

"It was terrible. Literally everything and everyone was in the shape of an M, even the vacuum cleaners!"

"Were the natives jerks, too?"

"Well, no, but their entire alphabet was the letter M twenty six times! Even their numerals were just the letter M! I never figured out their counting system, or if they even had one."

Sophie chuckled.

"What?"

"Compared to some dimensions I've seen, it doesn't sound too bad; just kind of goofy."

"You weren't there. You didn't see the extent of ridiculousness."

"Hmm, you have a point. If I'd been there, my mind might have minded more of your musings."

Ford shot her a look. "Don't."

Sophie grinned. "What? Are you trying to remind me to mind my manners?"

Ford let out a long-suffering sigh. "Why do I tell you anything?"

"Because you forget how marvelously mischievous I can be."

"Well, what ridiculous dimensions have you been to?"

Sophie frowned. "The Orange Dimension. Literally everything was the exact same shade of neon orange."

"Even the natives?"

 _"Everything._ "

"Yeesh, that does sound unpleasant."

"Unpleasant? It was an orange nightmare! I swear my vision was tinted blue for a full week after I left. I'll never see orange the same way again." Sophie shuddered.

Ford grinned. "Well, now I know what kind of fruit to look for next time we find an Earth dimension."

Sophie narrowed her eyes. "You wouldn't dare."

"I might, if you keep bringing up the M dimension."

"Keep talking like that and I'll make a list of every word in the English language that starts with M and say nothing else for the next week."

Ford chuckled. "Good luck. You'll run out of them before too long."

" _M_ aybe not." Sophie grinned evilly. "Or, I _m_ ight just start every word I say with an M."

Ford groaned. "Please no."

"Aha! Methinks me mate mentioned mis meakness!"

"I swear if you keep that up, I'll bury you in oranges."

Sophie softly punched Ford's arm. "Madmit it, mou move me."

Ford raised an eyebrow. "What was that? I couldn't understand you."

"Mome mon! Bleck, your right. It's annoying to even talk like that for too long."

"Do you see my point? I was stuck there for a month!"

Sophie held up her hands. "Okay, okay. I won't _m_ ess with you too _m_ uch on that one." Sophie grinned as Ford pinched the bridge of his nose. "Tell you what, I'll take first watch tonight as compensation."

"With the way you've been going on, I'll probably have nightmares about M Dimensioners telling me to 'Mave a Monderful Mime.'" Ford pointed at Sophie. " _Don't_ repeat that."

"Then I'll just wake you up, smart guy. Besides, you haven't been giving yourself enough sleep for at least the past week. Don't think I haven't noticed those shadows under your eyes."

Ford widened his eyes so they wouldn't droop. "I'm fine."

"Stanford, you're fighting a losing battle. Go to sleep."

Ford rubbed his eyes. "I don't need to yet."

Sophie rolled her eyes. "Must I resort to more malevolent measures to-"

"Alright, fine! You take first watch."

Sophie grinned in triumph as Ford grumpily curled up with his back to the fire. "Goodnight, you stubborn old man."

"Night," Ford muttered.

Sophie smiled softly and gazed up at the unfamiliar stars in the sky, wondering what constellations and lore the natives had for them. _Assuming this planet has any sentient life._ All she had seen so far was miles and miles of flat, blue grasslands under a green sky before the twin suns had sunk below the horizon.

She glanced at the quantum destabilizer lying next to Ford. _Just a power source. That's it. Then the only thing between us and destroying Bill is a portal to the Nightmare Realm._ The only question was how long it would take to find it….

Ford stirred. Sophie checked her watch. A few hours had passed. "It's okay, Ford. You can sleep a while longer before-"

Ford let out a muffled yelp. Sophie drew a knife and snapped to attention, scanning the area for danger. All seemed to be well… Ford let out another yelp. Sophie knelt by him and frowned. He was curled into a tight ball, hands clenched into fists, and breathing hard. _Nightmare._ Sophie reached out a hand and hesitated, wondering if Ford would throw any punches if she woke him up. She decided to risk it and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Ford?"

Ford bolted upright and swung his fist.

Sophie jumped back and narrowly avoided getting decked in the face. She looked up and was met with the end of Ford's gun.

"Stay back."

Sophie slowly raised her hands. "Ford, calm down. It's only me."

Ford narrowed his eyes, poised and ready to fire. His breathing was ragged, eyes glazed over and hands trembling.

Part of Sophie was terrified that something would set Ford off and he'd pull the trigger. She forced herself to appear calm. "It was just a dream, Ford. It's okay, you're okay."

Ford blinked a few times, realization slowly dawning on his face. He looked down in shame and quickly holstered his gun. "I-I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Don't worry about it. Nightmares are nasty stuff."

"Yes, well, I shouldn't have pointed my weapon at you, regardless."

"Hey, it's hard to reverse years of survival instincts."

Ford sat with his knees drawn up and focused on slowing his breathing.

"Besides, I pulled a knife on you the first time you woke me up from a nightmare."

Ford simply nodded.

"You going to be okay?"

" I just…need a moment."

"Right." Sophie sat next to Ford, throwing half of her blanket over his shoulders.

Ford gave her a questioning look. She shrugged. "Sometimes, sharing a blanket helps. Unless you need some space…"

"No, it's…it's fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." Sophie waited until Ford's breathing slowed. "You want to talk about it?"

"No, I-I'm alright."

"Okay, well, if you ever do, I'm here to listen." She smiled a little. "I'm guessing it wasn't about the M dimension."

Ford snorted. "Hardly." He gave her a questioning look. "How did you know what to do?"

Sophie shrugged. "Instinct? Well, and my little brother Nate used to have nightmares. We shared a room until I was ten, but even after that he would come to my room at night when the nightmares woke him up."

"How old was he?"

"We were three years apart."

"So he was nine when…"

"Yeah, I try not to think about that."

"Sorry."

"Eh, not your fault." Sophie pulled out a locket from under her jacket and opened it. "Here's a picture of him when we were eight and eleven." In one side of the locket was a tiny picture of a younger Sophie next to a smiling boy with dimpled cheeks and blond, messy hair. In the other side was a picture of her parents, smiling without a care in the world.

"They look happy."

"They were."

"Mm."

"Do you have any pictures of your family?"

Ford hesitated. "Well…I do have one picture." He pulled a worn photograph out of an inner pocket in his coat. "Careful, it's delicate."

Sophie smiled softly at the two boys on an old, decrepit boat with the words "Stan 'O War" painted on the side. "Are you and your brother twins?"

"Well, yes."

"That's so cool! When I was little I imagined that I had a secret twin somewhere. Heh, I guess I sort of do, with the multiverse and all." She handed the photo back to Ford. "You were cute when you were little."

"Uh, heh, thanks." Ford stuck the picture back into his coat pocket and cleared his throat. "I can keep watch from here; you should get some sleep."

Sophie nodded in understanding. "M'kay. Goodnight, smart guy."

"Goodnight, kiddo."

* * *

 _Boom!_ Sophie bolted to her feet, knife in hand, wildly scanning the area for danger. Her eyes rested on a smoke column coming from…Ford's face. She tackled him to the ground and smothered his face with her blanket, ignoring his flailing and muffled shouts. She lifted the blanket to observe the damage and was surprised by the absence of third-degree burns.

Ford shoved her off. "What was that for?"

"I heard an explosion, your face was smoking, and I assumed that something had lit your face on fire so I smothered the flames! How do you not have any burns from that?"

"That was just my shaving method, although I probably should have warned you about it. What?"

Sophie just stared, slack-jawed. "Sh-shaving method?"

"Well, technically it's not shaving. In fact, it's a much faster and more effective way to get the job done."

Sophie blinked. "You lit your face on fire…on purpose…so you wouldn't have to shave."

"Well, it's pretty hard to find a decent razor that's fit for human use."

"Are you crazy? With how much facial hair you burned off, I'm surprised you still have eyebrows!"

"I actually did scorch my eyebrows the first couple of times-"

"The first _couple_ of times?!"

"What was I supposed to do?"

Sophie threw her hands up. "I don't know, you could have used a knife."

"I tried that, and it wasn't as effective or convenient."

"So you'd rather torch your face?"

"Yes. It only takes a few seconds and does a better job than any blade I've ever used."

Sophie just shook her head and chuckled. "Stanford freaking Pines…you are something else."

Ford cocked an eyebrow. "At least I don't make silly faces at my own reflection."

Sophie reddened. "Hey! I was just cleaning my sword and you caught me at the wrong second."

"More like the wrong minute. You made at least three different faces before you realized that I was watching you."

Sophie crossed her arms and glared at the horizon. "Humph."

Ford chuckled as he strapped the quantum destabilizer on his back and pulled out the portal gun. "Ready to leave this dimension?"

Sophie got to her feet. "Yeah, let's bust this joint."

Ford pulled the trigger, and together they entered another world.

* * *

They traveled through several dimensions, some peaceful and some where they spent the entire time running for their lives, all the while on the lookout for the final piece to the quantum destabilizer. They found a dimension where colors were sounds and sounds were colors and gravity didn't exist. Everything was upside-down and confusing to the point where Ford got overwhelmed and Sophie had to talk him through it all until they could leave.

They went through one dimension where tennis balls chased dogs and another where everyone was a dog. Sophie's eyes itched and watered and her sinuses burned the entire time they were there; she was glad to leave that dimension.

They landed in a dimension where everyone was required to be an artist and expected to paint or draw something. Sophie painted an entire sheet of orange Ms and gave it to Ford as a joke. He didn't know whether to be annoyed or amused, but kept it all the same.

There was a dimension where the ground shifted in constant earthquakes and Sophie got terrible flashbacks of her own dimension falling apart. There was a dimension where Sophie and Ford completed the quantum destabilizer, entered the Nightmare Realm and faced Bill, only to wake up in another dimension with the incomplete destabilizer and realize that it had all happened in their heads.

Some bounty hunters caught onto their trail while they were perusing an alien market and chased them through several dimensions. They finally managed to lose the bounty hunters in the Constant Deadly Storms dimension and slip through a wormhole unnoticed.

Sophie perked up as she observed their surroundings. "Finally, a fun dimension!"

"Just because we landed in an amusement park doesn't mean that the whole dimension is like this," remarked Ford.

Sophie shrugged. "Who cares? Let's go ride the roller coasters."

Ford scanned the area. "We still need to be careful; things aren't always as they seem."

"Okay, mister paranoid, if I see anything threatening I'll holler." She glanced at the quantum destabilizer. "Uh, you might want to put 618 away while we're here. I'm not sure that weapons are allowed."

"Only if you put away your sword and knives."

"Ugh, fine." Sophie opened her pack and unstrapped her sword and weapon belts, shoving them in along with the quantum destabilizer.

"Whoa, cool magic trick!"

Sophie looked up, startled. A tiny, green-skinned, pointy-eared girl looked up at her and Ford with wide eyes. Sophie grinned. "That's right, and you get the exclusive one-time showing because you'll never see this happen again." She waved her hands mysteriously.

The girl's eyes grew bigger. "Can I see how you do it?"

Ford held up a finger. "Ah, ah, ah, a magician never reveals his secrets."

"Aw. Well, what else can you do?"

Sophie ran through a mental checklist of everything that didn't involve weapons or explosions and came up short. Plus, it wouldn't be good to draw that much attention. She glanced over at Ford and gaped: he was kneeling in front of the girl…and his hand was on fire. She uncapped her canteen and doused the flames. The girl looked at her in surprise. Sophie spread her arms wide. "Tadaa! That's all for today, folks! The magic spirits are tired."

The little girl clapped. "That was so cool!"

Ford chuckled. "Thanks, kid."

Sophie glanced around nervously. "Say, where are your parents?"

Just then a green-skinned lady came around the corner. "Ariella! There you are, I was looking all over for you!"

"Mommy, they can do magic!"

The mom eyed Ford and Sophie. "Oh, can they?"

"Yeah, but they can't show you because the magic spirits are tired."

Sophie put on the most innocent smile she could muster and braced herself for a motherly tirade.

"She wasn't too much trouble, was she?"

Sophie blinked.

"No, ma'am, no trouble at all," said Ford.

Ariella waved her tiny hand as her mom lead her off. "Bye, magic man and magic girl!"

Sophie waved back, smiling softly. "Well, that was…wow, that was…"

"Unexpected?"

"Yeah, but in a good way." She turned on Ford. "But seriously, what the heck were you thinking lighting you hand on fire, Ford? We're supposed to lie low!"

"It wasn't doing any harm. Besides, the girl liked it."

"Okay, the kid was adorable, but really? Lighting your hand on fire?"

"At least it wasn't a knife trick."

"Hey! I didn't even do a knife trick! I didn't do any other tricks at all because I highly doubt that impromptu knife throwing and pyrotechnics would be safe to show to an unsupervised child. How did you light your hand on fire, anyway? Alcohol?"

"Yes, actually."

"Figures."

Ford lifted an eyebrow. "So I wasn't the only one ensnared by that girl's charms."

Sophie crossed her arms. "She was adorable, okay? Kids just are. Hey, look, she's playing one of those carnival games."

Sure enough, it was the same little girl, tongue stuck out as she shot at plastic one-eyed alien worms with a dart gun.

Sophie paused to watch. One of the darts bounced off of a plastic worm. "Hey, she got one."

The game ended and a buzzer sounded. The little girl bounced excitedly as pointed a a giant stuffed toy. "Yay, I get the pentapus!"

The attendant shook his head. "Sorry, kid, you didn't knock over a wormy squirmy, so you don't get a prize."

Sophie's fist clenched. "But she hit one." She was startled as Ford stormed past her up to the counter and slammed down a coin. "I want to play for the pentapus."

"Very well, sir." The bored, three-eyed teenager handed him a dart gun. "If you knock down a wormy squirmy, you win a prize."

Ford nodded tensely. The teen pressed a button and the little plastic worms popped up. Ford pulled out his laser pistol and blasted one of them. A bell rang and a big sign flashed some alien words that probably meant, "You Win!"

The teen looked surprised for a second, then shrugged and handed Ford the giant stuffed toy. Ford knelt and handed it to the little girl. "There you go, kid. Have fun with it."

The mom smiled. "What do you tell the nice man?"

"Thank you!" she squeaked, hugging the toy tightly.

Sophie sighed as the little girl skipped away. "Okay, I admit it; that was pretty cool."

Ford shrugged. "That game was obviously rigged. I had to do something."

Sophie nudged Ford with her fist. "You're just a big softie, you know that?"

"I guess kids are my weakness."

"Heh, yeah, evidently." She side-eyed Ford. "Wanna go ride the roller coasters?"

"You know what? That actually sounds fun."

* * *

Two hours of waiting in line later, Sophie took one look at all the straps and click-in harness for the ride and stepped back. "Uh, you go ahead Ford, I think I'll just wait this one out."

Ford frowned in confusion. "But I thought you wanted to ride the roller coaster."

"Yeah, I thought I did, too. I didn't really think about all the straps and stuff…"

"I'm sure the straps are perfectly secure-"

"That's the problem."

Ford blinked. "What?"

"I uh…I have a thing about straps. You go on the ride and have fun, I'll just wait here."

"Sophie, I was only going to ride this because you wanted to."

Sophie narrowed her eyes. "Really? 'Cause the whole way up here you were talking about how it would be interesting to go on a ride like this just for kicks and giggles."

"I didn't say kicks and giggles-"

"Just get on the ride, Stanford."

Ford sat in one of the seats and did up the straps and buckles. Sophie watched as the cars went out of sight, wondering how many years it had been since Ford had ridden a roller coaster. Or gone to an amusement park. Or done anything fun. Sure, she and Ford shared jokes and teased each other, but most of their time was spent either running for their lives from bounty hunters or breaking some law somewhere that got the authorities after them. It was nice to finally find a dimension where no one was trying to kill or capture them. _Yet_ , whispered a little voice in the back of her mind. She shook her head. _This dimension has been fine so far. Ford lit his hand on fire and blew up part of an arcade game, and no one seemed to notice…_

The cars came back and ground to a screeching halt. Ford stepped out of the roller coaster, hair messier than usual and a smile on his face.

Sophie crossed her arms. "Well? How was it?"

"Not as thrilling as when we flew that ship in the Falling Rocks Dimension."

"But did you have fun?"

"It _was_ nice to go that speed without worrying about the possibility of imminent death."

Sophie grinned. "See? I figured you would have a good time. Now what do you want to do?"

"Hmm, I think I saw an ice cream booth, and I haven't had it for years-"

"Let's go get you some."

Ford led the way to a small stand that did, in fact, sell ice cream. Sophie settled for some cotton candy and they sat on a bench under a blue-leafed tree.

"What you have against ice cream?" asked Ford, licking up the dripping treat.

"I'm lactose intolerant. Any kind of dairy makes my insides freak out."

"I see." Ford shrugged. "Maybe this ice cream is made with a different kind of milk."

Sophie grimaced. "The last time I used that logic I couldn't eat for two days, seriously wondered if I was going to die, and haven't touched anything milk-related since."

"Yeesh, no ice cream for you, then."

"Heh, yeah. Do you have any allergies?"

"No, but I have eaten some things that humans aren't meant to digest."

"Been there, done that, too. But you know what I really miss?"

"Beef?"

"No, spare ribs."

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah. My mom would smear barbecue sauce all over those suckers and slow-roast them in the oven for like, two hours. I've never found a proper equivalent."

"Hmm. I miss coffee. No other dimension that I've been to can get it quite right."

"Huh. I don't think I've ever had coffee."

"Heh, I think I bled coffee when I was in college."

"That good, huh?"

Ford shrugged. "It kept me awake."

"Well, next time we're in a parallel Earth dimension, maybe I can try some."

"Perhaps." Ford crunched into his cone.

Sophie swung her legs and released a deep, contented sigh. "This is nice."

Ford smiled softly. "Yes, it's good to be in a dimension where no one is trying to kill us."

"Hey!"

Sophie jumped and Ford nearly dropped his half-eaten ice cream cone.

"I recognize you!"

Sophie caught sight of a walking chair and blinked a few times. "Ford, are you seeing this?"

Ford groaned. "Yes, it must be a native of the Sentient Furniture Dimension."

The chair scuttled closer. "You're Stanford Pines, wanted in-"

Ford chucked the remains of his ice cream at the chair's face and leaped to his feet. "And that's our cue to leave."

Sophie slung on her backpack. "Ugh, can't we have just one dimension where no one is after us?"

"Oof!"

Sophie turned to see that the chair had somehow tackled Ford to the ground. "Hey!" She pulled a knife from her boot and charged, but the chair sent her reeling with a swift kick in the jaw.

Ford struggled to get the chair off his back. "Get off me, or I'll break every one of your legs!"

"I'll destroy you, you wimpy bag of bones!"

Ford threw the chair off and whirled around. "Say that to my face, you wicker-caned son of a-" the chair cut him off with a an uppercut that sent his glasses flying. Sophie had recovered enough to catch them and stick them in her pocket. She charged the chair again but someone from behind grabbed her wrist and tackled her to the ground. Armed security guards dragged the chair off of Ford and picked him up like a flailing sack of potatoes.

"Break it up! No fighting allowed in Seven Billion Planet Flags!"

Sophie struggled as the guard twisted her knife out of her grip. "We were just defending ourselves!"

"That may be, but you were also disturbing the peace." The guards hustled them all towards a different part of the park.

"This isn't fair! The chair started it," said Ford, indignant.

"No, these humans attacked me!" cried the chair. "They started it!"

"Silence, both of you! You were all fighting, which is a violation of our law, and will be ejected to the dimension closest to your homes."

Sophie worriedly glanced at Ford. "What dimension is that?"

"The nearest Earth dimension for you two, now shut your traps!"

"There are a lot of parallel earths-" began Ford.

"I said shut it! The Earth closest to us is inhabited and ruled by humans, if that's what you're so concerned about."

Sophie felt a small bit of relief. Ford still looked apprehensive. The guards marched them all to a large building with a row of portals and tossed Ford and Sophie through the one labeled, "Earth."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was kind of a filler chapter of fluff and funnies that was just a lot of fun to write. Orange Ms will forever be an inside joke now. The chair fight was inspired by Journal 3 and skittlestew's amazing art on tumblr (links are below). I hope y'all enjoyed it! Comments and kudos are always greatly appreciated. :)
> 
> http://skittlestew.tumblr.com/post/149404455409/i-have-been-thinking-about-this-constantly-for
> 
> http://skittlestew.tumblr.com/post/149419951789/and-another-thing


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another one, folks! Happy reading. :)

Sophie groaned and slowly got up, brushing pine needles and dirt off of her hands as she took in her surroundings. _Green foliage. Blue sky. One sun._ The scent of pine trees permeated the air. She noticed Ford squinting at everything and handed him his glasses.

Ford slipped them on. "Oh, thank you."

"No problem." She glanced at their surroundings. "Well, it looks like we did end up on Earth. The question is, which one?"

Ford pressed a few buttons on his watch. "Dimensional coordinates: 47*\\." His eyebrows shot up. "Somewhat close to my home dimension, if I'm reading that right."

Sophie listened. "Do you hear that?"

"It sounds like…"

"Traffic. Earth traffic." Sophie started towards the noise. Ford followed, still gazing at their surroundings.

"This looks so…normal. Almost so normal that it's strange."

"You're telling me." Sophie picked up speed as they got closer to the traffic noise and burst through the trees. Cars rushed past them on a normal, actual, paved highway, and each car, as far as Sophie could tell, was a perfectly normal human. She almost cried. "Cars…normal cars…" She could almost pretend that she was back in her home dimension.

"Well, I suppose we should make our way to the nearest city. Let me see where we are..." Ford pressed a few buttons on his watch. It projected a 3D image of the earth and zoomed in on a spot in Oregon. Ford's eyes widened. "We appear to be close to Gravity Falls."

Sophie frowned. "Gravity Falls?"

"Where I'm from, or at least where I used to live." Ford turned off the projection. "I'm curious to see how different the town is on this Earth compared to my home dimension."

"Yeah, maybe we'll meet another you."

"Now that would be fascinating, though there's also a chance that this world's me ended up in the multiverse just like I did, or never ended up in Gravity Falls in the first place, or doesn't even exist. The possibilities are infinite."

"I wonder what this world's version of me is like," mused Sophie.

"Depending on where you're from, we might find out."

Sophie shrugged. "I doubt it; I grew up in Texas, and since we don't have any kind of legal documents we'd have a hard time getting past the border."

Ford looked slightly confused. "Why would we have trouble getting past the border?"

"Because it's another country." Sophie looked at Ford like it was obvious.

Ford's face lit up. "Fascinating!"

Sophie was slightly confused. "What? I thought it was like that everywhere."

"No, in my dimension Texas was part of the United States." He frowned. "At least, since last I checked. Who knows what could have happened since I've been gone."

"Weird. I guess our dimensions are more different than I thought."

"Yes…" Ford tensed. A car from the highway was slowing down right to where he and Sophie stood. He rested a hand on his gun while Sophie gripped the knife on her hip. The window rolled down to reveal an old lady in the passenger seat.

"Do you two need a ride somewhere?"

Ford blinked.

Sophie relaxed slightly.

"Um, I think we're fine with traveling on foot," said Ford.

Sophie nodded. "Thanks for the offer, though."

The old lady seemed disappointed. "We're going to Bend, and it would be no trouble at all to drop you off along the way."

Sophie put her hands up. "No thanks, we're actually training for the next big walking marathon. Got to keep up the ol' physique." She held her thumbs up and flashed a crooked grin.

The old lady's face lit up. "Oh, well it's wonderful to see some folks take their health seriously, unlike mister grumpy over here who won't eat his vegetables."

The old man in the driver's seat cupped a hand to his ear. "What was that, Janice?"

Janice gave him a playfully stern look. "Nothing, dear."

The man leaned over and pointed at Ford. "Say, are you that big shot science guy that's always coming up with new gadgets from other worlds, or something?"

Ford frowned. "No."

"Oh, then are you his mysterious twin brother? You look just like him."

Ford was taken aback. "I-you must have mistaken me for someone else."

The man shrugged. "Maybe it's just more Gravity Falls weirdness. I'll never understand that stuff. Anyway, you two have fun doing your mahogany walk, or whatever you said."

The old lady waved as her husband pulled the car back onto the highway. "Good luck, and make sure to be home before dark!"

Sophie watched them go. "What do you think, Ford? Nice old people or reptoids?"

Ford rubbed his chin. "I'd say they were human, but the fact that they had glasses on made it hard to be certain."

Sophie snorted. " _You_ wear glasses, you old nerd."

"Well, I've learned that when it comes to getting in a vehicle with strangers, it's better to be safe than end up in handcuffs."

Sophie chuckled. "That may be true, but those were pretty nice old people/possible reptoids."

After a few hours of walking, they passed a sign that said, "Welcome to Gravity Falls, Home of the International Institute of Oddology, Where Science Fiction Becomes Science Fact."

Ford gazed at the sign. "That's definitely different. I wonder…" His eyes followed signs pointing the same direction as his house. "I've got to see this!" He took off running.

Sophie ran up beside him. "Ford, I was kidding when I said we were training for a marathon. What's the big hurry?"

"I've got to see my house! All these signs make it sound like it's some kind of institute, a place of learning that I only dreamed of before. It seems like the Stanford Pines of this world had better luck than I did."

"But there's at least another hour of daylight left; we don't need to rush there."

"I have to see!"

Sophie smiled a little and rolled her eyes as she kept running. _Typical Ford._ They turned at another sign for "The IIO" onto a wide, paved driveway that wound through the trees. Ford slowed to a stop as the trees gave way to large buildings surrounding a comparatively small log cabin. The largest building had a giant, six-fingered hand print on the front, along with the letters. "IIO."

"I can't believe it," Ford breathed. "It's a dream come true."

Sophie scanned the campus as she caught her breath. "That is pretty impressive."

"I must get a closer look."

Sophie felt a twinge of uncertainty. "Are you sure it's safe?"

Ford shrugged. "Why wouldn't it be?" He eagerly strode towards the cabin at the center of the campus. A wiry, fair-haired man came out of one of buildings. Ford caught his breath. "Fiddleford…" Before Sophie could stop him he raced towards the man, his face a mixture of emotions. Sophie ran to keep up with him.

The man narrowed his eyes at Ford as they approached and came to a stop a few feet from him. "Stanford?"

"Fiddleford! It's so good to see you! How have you-"

Sophie was grabbed from behind by a pair of strong hands. "Hey!"

Ford struggled in the grip of another security guard. "What's the meaning of this?"

"I'll explain later. Guards, take these two to the lower levels; and not a word of this to Dr. Pines, you hear?"

Ford stomped on the guard's toes. "I _am_ Dr. Pines! Let me go!" Two more guards surrounded Ford and dragged him towards one of the buildings.

Sophie struggled against her captor, but the guard lifted her up and carried her at arm's length like a naughty child. All possible attacks were out of reach. She felt the beginnings of panic and took measured breaths, forcing herself to focus on her surroundings. She and Ford couldn't escape if neither of them knew the way out.

The guards took them into what looked like a secret entrance, down a set of stairs and through a few hallways into a lab. Their weapons were removed and the guards threw them into a cage big enough to hold a family of wild banthars. Sophie was fuming.

"Well, so much for your 'dream come true,' Ford. For all we know this campus could be a disguise for something more sinister."

Ford clutched the bars. "Perhaps there was a misunderstanding."

"Or _perhaps_ that Fiddlesticks guy isn't what you think he is. The second he recognized you, he sicked his guards on us. Maybe he's working for the Federation, or Bill-"

"His name is Fiddleford, and I...I don't think he's working for Bill. He mentioned what sounded like this dimension's version of me."

"If that was a version of you, why did he call him 'Dr. Pines?'"

"Well, I do have twelve PhDs, it only stands to reason that the me in this dimension-"

"Hold up - you said twelve?"

"Yes, that's right."

Sophie raised her eyebrows. "Twelve PhDs."

"What are you getting at?"

"How many years did that take you?"

"Well, I earned most of my PhDs at universities in various dimensions."

"Huh. Okay."

"Wait, how do you know what it takes to get a PhD?"

"My dad earned his in biochemistry. It took him eight years."

"Oh, that explains it."

"Yeah."

Just then the door to the lab swung open and Fiddleford walked in, accompanied by two guards. Sophie glowered.

Ford leaned against the bars. "Fiddleford! Why are we being detained?"

"Mighty sorry about that scuffle," he said with a southern twang, "it's just for safety precautions."

"What, you think Ford is a threat?" spat Sophie.

"Not in a hostile way."

"Then kindly explain why you let your security guards beat the crap out of us and lock us up in a freaking cage!"

Fiddleford crossed his arms. "We can talk, but you're going to have to behave yourselves."

Sophie crossed her arms. "Fine."

The guards brought enough chairs for everyone into the cage and sat on either side of Fiddleford. Sophie could understand the precautions, but still resented being treated like a prisoner. Fiddleford told her and Ford that there was still a portal in this version of Gravity Falls, but he and this dimension's Ford were able to stabilize it so people could safely travel to other realities without tearing the universe apart or allowing Bill into their dimension. On one of their expeditions to a particularly dangerous dimension, a security officer had run into his parallel self.

"He reached his hand out to touch his doppelganger, and the whole bloomin' place started to warp and fizz with static…"

Sophie gripped the edges of her chair and squeezed her eyes shut. _Run, we're right behind you! The ground quaked, the world tore itself apart…_

"…never did hear from him again. The whole dimension must a' been wiped out of existence."

Sophie's fist slammed into Fiddleford's cheekbone, knocking his chair back so he fell to the ground. "You wiped out an entire dimension just for _research?!"_ Ford held her back from charging the security guard in front of Fiddleford. "Let go of me, Stanford!"

"Sophie, get a hold of yourself!"

Sophie struggled in Ford's grasp. "Which dimension was it, Fiddlesticks! What were the coordinates?"

Fiddleford slowly sat up with help from the other security guard and cupped his hand to his cheek. "Ninety-two dash seven apostrophe S."

Sophie seethed. "You're lucky. If it had been 256-4, you would be a dead man."

"It was just an accident - "

"Yeah, I bet my dimension was 'just an accident,' too! That's no excuse for wiping out an _entire universe!"_

"We had no idea that that would happen, and we're extra careful now so that never happens again."

"So you're _still_ using that stupid portal?"

"Yes, for research expeditions, and like I said, we're extra careful now. Dimensions only get destroyed if a person touches their counterpart from that dimension, but we take extra measures so that doesn't happen."

Sophie scowled. "The things you do for science." She stood abruptly, knocking her chair back. "You two have fun, I need some space." Before anyone could stop her, she picked up her chair and slammed it into the bars.

"Guards-"

"No!" said Ford, "Trust me, it's better if you just leave her alone."

Sophie dropped to the floor in the corner farthest from Fiddleford and did pushups. She wanted to throw knives until whatever her target was resembled a pincushion, then maybe hack down a few trees with her sword, but this would have to do.

"Is there any way that she could go outside for a few minutes?"

"Sorry, no can do. If she runs into this dimension's version of herself, it's too big of a risk."

Sophie lost track of their conversation as her thoughts tumbled over each other. She hated being reminded of the loss of her dimension, and to find out that hers wasn't the only one to meet that fate...she shook her head and focused on the strain of her muscles, the in and out of her breath as her heart rate increased.

She reached a stopping point and leaned against the bars to catch her breath, wiping the sweat from her brow.

"...I reckon it'll be enough to power that quantum destabilizer of yours."

Sophie's senses sharpened. "What's that about the quantum death ray?"

"Destabilizer," said Ford and Fiddleford at once.

Sophie rolled her eyes. "You nerds know what I'm talking about."

"Fiddleford has an element that might be a suitable power source for the quantum death-er, destabilizer."

Sophie walked over and sat down in the slightly bent empty chair, curiosity and hope mingling with suspicion. "Really?"

"Yes," said Fiddleford, "I was just telling Stanford here that I found an element in the Paradox Dimension that I like to call, 'NowUSeeItNowUDontium.' It's inert when visible, but highly radioactive when hidden. I reckon it'll be enough to give that blaster enough power to kill that one-eyed beast."

Sophie narrowed her eyes. "How do we know that this is going to work?"

"We don't," said Ford, "but it's the most promising power source we've come across yet."

Fiddleford stood. "If you'll follow me, I can show it to y'all."

Ford stood as well. "Let's go have a look."

Sophie followed them through the building while the guards checked the hallways ahead of them to make sure that they didn't run into the other Ford. Emotions warred in her head. It couldn't be this easy. Or could it? Her fingers itched to grip her knife, but Fiddleford hadn't given her weapons back. She stiffened when they stopped at an elevator. "Do you have stairs?"

"Nope," said Fiddleford, "this here is the only way down."

"It's only a few seconds, right?" asked Ford.

"Yeah, I reckon."

"It will be fine, Sophie, just stand next to me."

Sophie took a deep breath and stepped into the elevator with the two men. Ford put his hand on her shoulder. She grasped it tightly as the doors closed and they began their descent.

"Claustrophobic?" asked Fiddleford.

"Not exactly," muttered Sophie.

"By the way, I'm might sorry about earlier. I had no idea that you'd lost your dimension; I hope you can understand that I was just trying to keep this one safe. No harm was meant by it."

Sophie nodded tersely. The elevator came to a stop and the door slid open. Sophie relaxed slightly and followed the rest of the group into a hallway. Fiddleford had his hand and retina scanned. A door slid open into a long room with rows of locked compartments lining the walls.

He gestured around. "This is where we keep the most dangerous elements." He stopped halfway down the room and dug a set of keys out of his pocket. "And this is where that particular little element is." He unlocked a compartment and pulled out a small glass box with a white, glowing orb inside and handed it to Ford.

Ford held it gingerly and gazed at it glowing depths. "This...actually might work."

Fiddleford grinned. "I figured it would do the trick. Now, you can work on that blaster of yours in the lab across the hall. It's hardly ever used, so no one's likely to bother you there."

"So the other me isn't likely to go in there?"

"Nope, you'll be fine. Now as far as lodging goes-"

"We can sleep in the lab."

Fiddleford crossed his arms. "Stanford Pines, if you're anything like the Stanford I know, you'll forget to sleep unless someone tells you to. I'll put you up at a local hotel and make sure that you get a proper night's rest and three decent meals every day that you're here. I wouldn't want you facing a demon running on sleep deprivation and caffeine fumes."

"I'll be perfectly fine-"

"You. Are facing. A demon. You need a place where you can get proper sleep."

"But-"

"Don't argue, I've already made reservations."

Ford pouted. "Fine."

"By the way, when was the last time you two had something proper to eat?"

Sophie and Ford exchanged glances. Ice cream and cotton candy technically didn't count…

"That's what I thought. You can tinker around in here, and I'll grab you a bite to eat. Any food allergies I need to know about?"

"No dairy," said Sophie.

"Got it. Now don't you two go nowhere; I wouldn't want you accidentally zapping us out of existence."

"Right," said Ford. Fiddleford left and the door shut behind him with a click.

Sophie pressed a button on the side panel and the door slid open. "Well the good news is, we're not locked in."

"And the other good news is that we finally have a power source for the quantum destabilizer!" Ford was excitedly dismantling part of the weapon.

"Do you really think that this one will work? Nothing else has."

"I'm fairly certain that this will. It's the right size, the right power, and from what Fiddleford told me, it has just the right properties to create a blast powerful enough to destroy anything, material or otherwise."

Sophie crossed her arms. "What makes you trust this Fiddlesticks guy? For all we know, he could be calling in the bounty hunters to come pick us up, or that element could be something completely different from what he described."

Ford paused. "He's my friend."

"He's this universe's version of your friend who locked us up in a literal cage. He could be completely different from the Fiddlesticks you know back home."

Ford considered her words for a minute. "No, he's not that different."

"How can you tell, though?"

Ford sighed. "Imagine that you ran into a parallel version of your family. Would you trust them if they behaved almost exactly like you own family did?"

"I-" Sophie frowned. "I can't say that I wouldn't. But then, my family didn't destroy an entire universe, either."

"That was an accident, though, and it wasn't even Fiddleford's fault. He wasn't the one that touched his parallel self, and he didn't stop the security officer because he didn't know that it would have that outcome. And you can see how many precautions he takes to make sure that the same thing doesn't happen here."

Sophie slumped. "I guess you're right. But I still don't trust him."

Ford put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm not asking you to. Besides, we should only be here for a few days at the most."

"Then we'll be ready to face Bill?"

Ford grinned. "Yes, we finally will."

* * *

Fiddleford came back later with two hamburgers from a local diner and a laptop. Sophie dug into the food with gusto, savoring each bite. Ford ate quickly so he could get back to tinkering with the destabilizer. Fiddleford set up the laptop as they ate.

He tapped a few keys and turned to Sophie. "Now Sophie, I need to know your full name."

Sophie narrowed her eyes as she wiped grease off her face. "Why?"

"I need to see where your parallel self lives so we don't have any mishaps."

Sophie shrugged. "She's probably in Texas, so there wouldn't be a problem there."

"RIght, but it's always better to be safe than sorry."

Sophie crossed her arms. "What kind of database are you putting that information into, anyway?"

"We have an agreement with INTERPOL, the CIA, the FBI, and a few other worldwide organizations so we can pull up any records anywhere in the world to make sure that no one runs into their parallel self and destroys the universe."

"Right, but I'm still pretty sure my parallel self lives in Texas, so no threats of universal destruction there."

Fiddleford's knee bounced in frustration. "Goshdiddlydangit, young lady, there's no telling how many differences there are between your universe and this one! Heck, your parallel self could be on the floor above us for all you know, so will you kindly let me look up your records so you don't accidentally destroy the universe?"

Sophie studied Fiddleford's expression for a minute. "Fine. My full name is Sophia Kardos."

" _Thank_ you." Fiddleford's fingers flew across the keyboard. "What about your middle name?"

"I don't have one."

"Fair enough. How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

Ford looked up from his work. "Since when?"

"Uh, we've been traveling together for a year and a half, Ford. Obviously I turned seventeen at some point."

"Right, you just never told me when your birthday was."

"Well you never told me when yours was, either, so there."

Fiddleford frowned. "Do you remember when it is?"

"Of course I do."

"So, when is it?"

Sophie shot a look at Ford. "Pretend you didn't hear this." She turned back to Fiddleford. "It's November 1st."

Fiddleford typed it in, pressed a key and waited. He frowned at the screen. "No exact match."

Sophie furrowed her brow. "You could try looking up my dad. His name was Jordan Mitchell Kardos, birth date is June 24th, 1969."

He put in the information and waited. "Oh, we do have something coming up. Jordan Mitchell Kardos, hometown is Cedar Park, Texas. Does that look like him?"

Sophie leaned over Fiddleford's shoulder and several emotions welled up at once. On the screen was a picture of a man who looked almost exactly like her dad, with graying hair and a few more wrinkles. "Yeah…that's him."

"Science professor at the University of Texas. It says here that he never married."

Sophie swallowed. "Never married?"

"Doesn't look like it. No kids mentioned, either."

Sophie gazed at the picture of her dad, wishing that she could reach through the screen and throw her arms around him. She sometimes wondered what he would look like, if he was still alive. Or what her mom would look like. Or how tall Nate would be…

"You okay there, hun?"

"Yeah." Sophie turned away and swiped her eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Mind if I look up your mother?"

"Sure. Her name was Lauren Elizabeth Sanderson, birth date was July 18, 1971."

Fiddleford put in the information and frowned. "Nothing. Maybe…" He tapped a few more keys. "I have a couple of results, with slight differences in the names and birth dates." He tilted the screen towards Sophie. "Any of these look familiar?"

Sophie scanned the pictures. "No. None of those people look anything like my mom."

"Well that's downright fascinating; according to our records, your mother doesn't exist in this reality and neither do you. That's good news! You can stay in this dimension as long as you want with no dangers of destroying it."

"You mean, forever?"

"Well, until you die at least."

"Right." Sophie glanced at Ford, who was thoroughly absorbed in his project. "But he can't, so what would be the point?"

Fiddleford followed her gaze. "You're awfully fond of him, aren't ya?"

"Well, yeah. He's pretty much my uncle, and without him…I don't know what I'd be doing with my life, but it wouldn't be good."

"I can say the same about my Stanford. I don't know how similar our time lines are, or if he told you everything - "

"He told me that he trusted Bill, who turned out to be a backstabbing jerk that cost him his friends and part of his sanity."

"Sounds about the same. I wasn't in a good place after all that went down, but Stanford found me, apologized, and helped me get back on my feet. After that we fixed the portal and founded the Institute."

Sophie smiled. "Yeah, Ford is just a big, dorky, lovable marshmallow disguised as a crusty old man. Don't tell him I said that."

Fiddleford winked. "Your secret is safe with me."

Ford looked up from the dismantled destabilizer. "Hey Fidds, do you have an allen wrench set that I could borrow?"

Sophie stood and dug around in her pack. "I'm pretty sure there's one in here somewhere…"

"No, I had it in my pocket but we lost it somewhere between here and the Constant Deadly Storms dimension."

"Why was it in your pocket?"

"Because I used it a few dimensions ago when we tested that crystal to see if it would work."

Fiddleford strode towards the door. "I'll go get one for ya."

* * *

They spent the next few days in the lab, Ford making adjustments to the quantum destabilizer, Sophie keeping him company and handing him tools, and Fiddleford quadruple-checking equations, making sure that they both stopped to eat, and driving them to and from the motel so they could sleep. Finally, the weapon was finished. Fiddleford insisted that they stay at the motel for one more night so they could be well-rested when they faced Bill.

Sophie flopped onto one of the beds. "I can't believe that the quantum death ray is finished."

"Destabilizer." Ford unstrapped the weapon from his back and laid it down.

"Yeah, that thing." Sophie stared at the ceiling, thoughts swirling. "Are you sure you want to leave tomorrow? We could stay here for another day or two..."

"Why would we do that? I've been preparing to face Bill for the past thirty years, and now that I have the means to destroy him I would hardly want to wait another day."

Sophie sat up and took a deep breath, trying to ease her mounting anxiety. "It's just...never mind."

Ford sat on the other bed. "What?"

Sophie shook her head. "It's nothing. I'm sure everything will be fine." _Everything had better be fine._

"Um, about that…"

Sophie stiffened. "What?"

Ford stood and paced with his hands behind his back. "The mission to destroy Bill will be extremely dangerous. The quantum destabilizer is designed to break apart Bill's molecules into the tiniest particles possible and scatter them, which would theoretically create a black hole into the unknown."

It took a minute for Ford's words to sink in. "So, everything in the Nightmare Realm would be sucked in, including us."

"Yes, there's a very high probability."

Sophie slumped as the possibility of death stared her in the face. She straightened and clenched her jaw. "You said that there's a high _probability_ , not an inevitability."

"Well, yes, but any chance of survival is small."

"But there's still a chance."

Ford shook his head. "Sophie, it's too much of a risk. I think it's best if I go alone."

Sophie raised her eyebrows. "What?"

"There's no double of you in this universe, so you could stay here without worrying about endangering anyone. Fiddleford said that he could help you get settled here-"

"No."

"Look, I know you don't want to, but it's the safest-"

"Stanford freaking Pines, have you lost your mind?"

Ford blinked owlishly.

"Do you really think that after all we've been through together, I would just settle down in a nice Earth dimension and let my best friend go face Bill Cipher alone?"

Ford sighed. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I don't want you to get killed because you insisted on going in there by yourself without anyone to watch your back! I thought you learned by now that two is always better than one, Stanford!"

"I don't want to lose you!"

"Well, I don't want to lose you, either! And if you think that I'll just sit quietly and wave goodbye while you go on a dangerous mission that could possibly result in your _death_ , maybe you need a hard knock in the head so you'll remember what we've been doing for the past year and a half! You talk about probability and slim chances, well we've both been surviving on a boatload of those, you longer than me. Just think of all the situations that we've managed to escape! Destroying Bill will have the same outcome. It has to."

"Sophie--"

"Don't 'Sophie' me! Literally everyone I ever cared about is dead except for you! If something happened to you, I--I don't know if I could do it again. I don't--I don't know if I could lose everything again." Sophie clenched her jaw and turned away.

Ford sat next to her and released a heavy sigh. "This will be unlike anything we've ever faced before."

Sophie swiped her eyes and cocked an eyebrow. "Worse than that giant manticore that we took down in dimension Omega 299?"

"More like an entire army of flying manticores with more claws and teeth than Nature ever intended."

Sophie quirked a smile. "What about the M dimension?"

"Worse than the M dimension, or the Orange dimension, or any other dimension that you or I have seen. It's called the Nightmare Realm for a reason."

"Just another reason for me to come with you. How do you expect to defeat Bill if there's no one to distract his minions?"

Ford shook his head. "Sophie-"

Sophie placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'll have your back, just like I always do. You don't have to do this alone."

Ford looked into her eyes with resignation. "There's no convincing you to stay here, is there?"

"You kidding? Not even a herd of wild banthars could keep me here."

"Just…be careful."

Sophie poked Ford in the chest. "The same goes for you, smart guy." She flashed a lopsided grin. "Besides, I'm always careful."

Ford scoffed. "Says the one who nearly broke her neck trying to _ride_ a wild banthar."

"Hey, that was just me being awesome. Besides, I'm not the one who lights my face on fire."

Ford raised a finger. "You know you would try it if you had facial hair."

"No, I would use a knife just like I do with the rest of my hair. Speaking of which, yours is getting a little long in the back." Sophie flicked a curl on the back of Ford's neck.

He swatted her hand away. "It's fine, you don't need to cut it yet."

"Okay, but you'll definitely need a trim a week from now, or you'll be in a hairy situation."

Ford barely cracked a smile.

"Ford, look at me."

He turned and met Sophie's eyes.

"Both of us have survived the Nightmare Realm before, and we can do it again. You're going to destroy that blasted triangle, and we will both make it out of there alive, before it implodes. Got it?"

Ford stayed silent for a long time, doubts clouding his features. Sophie gazed back at him with as much determination as she could muster. Finally, he nodded.

"Got it."

Sophie nodded sternly. "Good. Now stop worrying and get some sleep; we've got a big day tomorrow."

* * *

They woke at the crack of dawn, packed their bags and checked out of the hotel room. Fiddleford was due to come by any minute to see them off. Sophie had the portal gun. Ford held the completed quantum destabilizer.

Ford shook his head. "I almost can't believe that this day is finally here."

"Yeah, it's been thirty years for you, hasn't it?"

"Yes. Thirty years, and I'm finally facing Bill again…to destroy him."

"Wow." Sophie tried to pretend that her knees weren't shaking. "Are you nervous?"

"Not really. Are you?"

"Maybe a little."

"You still don't have to come, you know."

Sophie smiled. "I know, but I'm coming anyway."

Ford smiled slightly. "I doubt I could stop you."

"You've got that right, smart guy."

Ford chuckled and watched the road for Fiddleford's car. Sophie gazed up at him, wondering if they really would make it out of the Nightmare Realm or if this was the last time she would see Ford alive and whole…she threw her arms around him and held tight, as if she could keep him from ever disappearing. "I love you, Uncle Ford."

Ford stiffened with surprise for a moment before he returned the gesture with his free arm. "S-same to you, kid," he said gruffly, "I…I love you, too."

Sophie clung tighter as she heard Fiddleford's car pull up, hoping that this wasn't the last hug she ever got. She released him as she heard Fiddleford's car door open.

"I'm mighty glad y'all stuck around so I could see you off. I admit I was a mite worried that you'd jump dimensions soon as the sun showed."

Sophie put her hands on her hips. "Come on, do you really think we would do that after all you've done for us?"

"Yes, Fiddleford, of course we would stick around! Without you, we would still be wandering around looking for a power source to defeat Bill."

"Aw shucks, it was a pleasure to help you two. I'm just glad you landed here."

"As am I." Ford pulled the man into a hug. "Thank you, Fidds, for everything."

"Like I said, it was a pleasure."

Sophie shook Fiddleford's hand, then thought better of it and pulled him into a hug. "Thanks, Fiddlesticks."

"That's always going to be my name to you, is it?"

Sophie grinned and stepped back. "Yup, always."

Fiddleford shook his head and smiled. "Now be careful, you two. Go blast that demon for all he's worth."

Ford nodded. "We will."

Sophie pulled out the portal gun. "Ready?"

Ford cocked the destabilizer. "Ready as I'll ever be."

Sophie took a deep breath and pulled the trigger. The familiar swirling blue disk appeared. Heart pounding, she followed Ford into the portal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger! Mwahahahahahahahaha! :)  
> (Comments are always appreciated. :))


	11. Chapter 11

"We missed."

Sophie kicked the white sand and pointedly avoided looking at the bright orange sky. "Yep. It's an orange nightmare, but not the kind of nightmare we're looking for."

Ford strapped the destabilizer on his back with a frown and pressed a few buttons on his watch. "I could have sworn that setting the portal gun to all zeros would work. Perhaps it took us to a dimension with a thinner wall between it and the Nightmare Realm…aha! We're close. There are a lot of dark energy and weirdness readings coming from that direction."

They climbed to the top of a sand dune in the direction that he had pointed. A massive wrecked space ship lay on the other side, half-buried in sand.

Sophie adjusted her watch. "Looks like there's a wormhole forming in that wreck. Is that where all the dark energy is coming from?"

"Yes…it's likely that that ship was stuck in the Nightmare Realm, and eventually ended up here. By the looks of it it's been here for centuries."

"Ooo, maybe it's haunted," teased Sophie.

"Let's hope not; that would only complicate things."

They half-climbed, half-slid down the sand dune and slogged their way towards the wrecked ship. Sophie felt the grit rolling around in her boots and irritating her skin. "I'm really not a fan of deserts."

"Neither am I," said Ford emphatically.

They were a few yards away from a large hole in the side of he ship when the air behind them crackled. They turned around to see a rift forming in the air. Olga, Kevin and Gerald piled out, along with some of the bounty hunters that were lost in the Constant Deadly Storms dimension. They caught sight of Sophie and Ford, and opened fire.

Ford drew his blaster and fired back. Sophie ducked to the side and lobbed a grenade a second before a blaster bolt slammed into her ribs.

"Sophie!"

"We…need to get inside…" Ford half-dragged her into the ship and up a slanted corridor. Sophie pressed a hand to her side and felt warm, sticky wetness on her palm. _No, not now…we don't have time for this._ She stopped when they rounded a corner and slumped against the wall to catch her breath.

Ford pulled out a roll of bandages. "How bad is it?"

Sophie shrugged and tried not to wince. "Not too bad now that I don't have to look at that godawful orange sky."

Ford shook his head. "Let me see-" He stiffened at the sound of footsteps. Some of the bounty hunters had survived the blast.

"I'll kill you, Kardos, if it's the last thing I do!" shrieked Olga.

Sophie grabbed the bandages. "We'll have to deal with this later."

"But-"

She took off running. Ford followed suit. Sophie grit her teeth and bandaged her middle as she ran, trying to ignore the pain throbbing in her side. Ford pulled up a 3D map of the ship on his watch and pointed out which ways to turn, barely staying ahead of the bloodthirsty bounty hunters. Suddenly they skidded to a halt: a large section of the floor had rusted away, leaving a gaping hole that looked miles deep. Ford fired the piton line in his gun and wrapped his other arm around Sophie, careful to avoid her blaster wound. "Hang on."

Sophie clung to Ford as they swung across the chasm, bullets flying through the air from the bounty hunters. Ford let out a pained grunt and his grip on Sophie faltered just as they reached the other side. He clutched his arm and kept running as Sophie left a smoke grenade behind. They paused after they rounded a corner, and Sophie did a quick wrap on Ford's elbow.

"How close are we?"

Ford pulled up the map. "We're almost there."

"Good. I hope that hole in the floor stops the-" Footsteps sounded from the turn they had just made. "Are you kidding me?" Sophie threw down another smoke grenade and took off running again, hoping to buy them a little more time.

After several twists and turns, they finally entered a long corridor where they could see the beginnings of an opening wormhole in a room at the far end. Sophie clutched her side and forced her legs to keep moving even as she felt lightheaded and gasped for breath. Blood seeped through the hastily applied bandage. Ford threw a worried look over his shoulder as Sophie lagged behind. She gave a thumbs-up and glanced behind her. The bounty hunters entered the hallway and were gaining on them.

There were three: two from the group that had chased Sophie and Ford through several dimensions, and Olga. Sophie rolled her eyes. _Of course she would survive._ She tried to gauge how close the wormhole was and tossed a grenade over her shoulder with a grim smile. _So long, suckers _.__ The hall behind them exploded, chunks of rusty metal rained from the ceiling. It didn't stop.

The corridor came crashing down right at Sophie's heels. She forced herself to keep running as fast as she could, but the wound was taking its toll. _I might not make it…_ Ford turned and reached out his hand. A huge pipe at the end of the hall loosened from the ceiling. There was no way they would both make it out in time. With every last ounce of her strength Sophie surged forward, ignoring Ford's hand, and sent him sprawling into the room ahead with a forceful push an instant before the pipe crashed through the floor between them. Ford whipped around. For a split second she saw his wide eyes and outstretched hand through the falling wreckage.

__"_ Sophie!"_

Pain exploded all over of her body, the sounds of breaking, creaking, and falling metal rattled her skull and made her ears ring. She felt a strange tugging sensation. Darkness fell…

* * *

Ford sat in shock as the rubble stopped falling just short of where he was, leaving a cloud of dust in its wake. _"No!"_ He scrambled to his feet and tore through the rubble. "Sophie! Come on, kid, answer me!" He set his watch to scan for life forms as he yanked away more broken chunks of metal. It blinked green once, twice…the light turned red. The rubble crashed and shifted. "No…" Ford fell to his knees. "I'm sorry, kid…I'm so sorry." Tears coursed down his cheeks that he didn't bother to wipe away.

Ford slowly gathered the will to pick up the quantum ~~death ray~~ destabilizer and face the wormhole. Sophie's sacrifice would not be in vain. Bill Cipher was about to meet his end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...sorry. Sort of. I actually made myself cry with this chapter. But this isn't how it ends...


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update! Woohoo! This chapter was really self indulgent. Happy reading!

_Ugh, everything hurts._ Sophie slowly blinked her eyes open and immediately squeezed them shut as light made them burn and water. Nearly every inch of her body throbbed with a deep, pulsing ache, her head felt full of lead. She tried to move her right arm, but It was heavy and restrained. She wiggled her fingers and found a stiff material covering the palm of her hand. _Cast…it's a cast._ She tried opening her eyes again and lifted her head slightly, but immediately fell back and hissed as pain pulsed through her skull. _What…?_   She tried moving her legs. Her right leg was in another cast. Her left leg was numb below the knee and felt…incomplete.

She heard movement to her right. Footsteps approached her side, and a gentle hand brushed the hair from her face. "I see that you are awake," said a soft voice.

Sophie's head spun. It sounded like... "Mom?" She squinted up at the blue blur leaning over her.

"I'm sorry, I am not. My name is Jheselbraum the Unswerving, and you are in Dimension 52."

Sophie blinked rapidly, beginning to panic. "What...I...I can't see...why can't I see?"

Jheselbraum ran her fingers through her hair. "Shhh, you will be able to see clearly again in time. You are recovering from a head injury."

Sophie thoughts felt like sludge as she tried to process the new information.

"What is the last thing that you remember?"

Sophie squeezed her eyes shut. There was something important… _wide brown eyes, six fingers reaching out_ …she gasped. "Ford! Where...where is he?"

"Stanford is safe for the time being."

"Can I see him?"

"Not at this time."

"Why?"

"I'll tell you when you are feeling better."

"But…but I…" Sophie tried to wiggle her toes and frowned. "My left foot, I can't..."

"You can't feel it."

"N-no."

Jheselbraum sighed. "This may not be the best time to tell you why."

Sophie felt dread pool in her gut. "What happened?"

"Sophia-"

"Please..."

Jheselbraum hesitated for a moment. "Do you remember what was happening the last time you saw Stanford?"

Sophie squeezed her eyes shut _ _..._ sand...wormhole...crashing… too much pain _...__ Vague impressions and memories floated just out of reach. "I don't…I can't…"

"You were in a collapsing corridor. Stanford escaped it because you pushed him out of the way, but you were trapped under the wreckage. The lower half of your leg was severed."

Sophie felt like she had been punched in the gut. _No, no, this can't be happening..._ She bit her lip as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Will-will I ever be able to walk again?" she asked in a small voice _._

Jheselbraum brushed away Sophie's tears. "Yes, in time. What you did was very brave, and now you need to rest and recover."

Sophie forced her drooping eyelids to stay open. "Wait...how do you know about Ford?"

"He came here a long time ago. Sleep; I will come back to check on you soon."

Sophie allowed her eyelids to fall shut and drifted off…

* * *

 _Sophie ran along the collapsing corridor, gasping for breath. Ford was a few paces ahead. He turned and reached out his hand, an instant before the ceiling collapsed on top of him..._ "STANFORD!" Sophie jolted awake and bit back a scream as her entire body protested. Her head hurt as she tried to scan her surroundings. A hand on her shoulder startled her and she jerked away.

"Sophia! Sophia, it's alright, you're safe, it was just a dream."

Sophie grit her teeth. "Ford, where's Ford?"

"Not here, but he is safe."

Sophie instinctively reached for the knife on her hip with her good hand, but her fingers only found silky fabric. She tried to keep the helpless terror out of her voice. "If he's not here, then were is he?"

Jheselbraum reached out a hand. "Sophia, you need to calm yourself."

Sophie smacked it away. "Where's Ford?"

"He is in his home dimension. Now take a deep breath-"

"I-I need to see him, need to know that he's okay..." Sophie pressed a hand to her temple.

"Sophia, you need to breathe; your distress isn't helping you recover."

"But Ford..."

"Is perfectly fine."

"But how do you _know?"_

"Because I have seen it."

Sophie groaned and rubbed her forehead as she tried to process what Jheselbraum meant. "So what are you, some kind of voodoo fortune teller?"

Jheselbraum chuckled as she smoothed out Sophie's blankets. "Hardly. Most who claim to be fortune tellers simply tell people what they think they want to hear. I, however, am an oracle."

"So, you're a 'real' fortune teller, then?"

Jheselbraum sighed. "The future is not so simple as you may think. It can go in infinite directions, and is decided by the smallest of choices. Change but one choice, and everything changes. With infinite universes, every outcome happens, so it is difficult to discern most of the specifics of your individual future. The past, however, is more fixed, and thus is easier to discern."

Sophie crossed her arms, or tried to. The cast made it difficult. "So, tell me something about my past."

Jheselbraum looked at her sideways. "You still don't believe me, do you?"

"I've seen a lot of things that most humans haven't, but I've never seen a real oracle."

"Well then, how do you think I found you to bring you here?"

Sophie's already-tired brain short-circuited. "I...uh..." She narrowed her eyes. "I thought you couldn't see my exact future."

"There are certain specific events that I am aware of before they happen."

Sophie clenched the blanket in a death grip. "So you knew that I would get trapped in that shipwreck."

"I did."

"Then why, pray tell, didn't you get me out of there before got buried under a crap ton of rubble and LOST MY LEG?!"

"Because if I had, Stanford would not have made it."

"You could have pulled both of us out of there!"

"Sophia, calm yourself. Your anger is only aggravating your head injury."

"But why didn't you do anything before the roof collapsed on me?!"

_"Stanford would not have made it."_

Sophie blinked as Jheselbraum's words finally sunk in.

"You needed to be there to give him that final push."

"So if I hadn't been there..." Sophie remembered the falling pipe that Ford had narrowly avoided.

"Do you see now, why I couldn't interfere any earlier?"

"But the grenade..."

"Stanford would have used one if you had not."

Sophie's anger melted away as the full implications of Jheselbraum's statement sunk in. "...Oh."

"He needed you, just as you needed him."

"Yeah...I guess so." She looked up at Jheselbraum hopefully. "So if he's in his home dimension, that means you can get me there after I get better, right?"

Jheselbraum shook her head. "That is a journey that you will need to make on your own."

Sophie scowled. "You pulled me out of that other dimension. Why can't you just do the same thing in reverse?"

"Because it would disrupt your timeline."

Sophie lifted an eyebrow. "I thought you couldn't see the specifics of my timeline."

"I said that it was difficult to discern most of the specifics."

"So will I see Ford again, or won't I?"

Jheselbraum quirked an enigmatic smile. "That depends on how determined you are to find him."

Sophie threw up her uninjured hand. "How am I supposed to do that? It took Ford thirty years to get to his home dimension; how the heck am I going to find him?"

Jheselbraum brushed Sophie's hair from her forehead. "You must never lose hope, and trust in yourself; your timeline and Stanford's are linked across the multiverse."

"Linked? So it's like, destiny?"

"Yes, you could say that."

Sophie felt a spark of hope, but frowned. "But half the multiverse has a price on my head. The second I step out of this dimension, I'll have bounty hunters after me."

Jheselbraum raised half of her eyebrows. "Actually, the Federation of Dimension 522 Alpha believes that you are dead."

"Wait...what?"

"The Federation thinks that you died in that collapsed shipwreck; you no longer need to worry about them hunting you."

Sophie blinked. "For real? They won't be after me any more and I can just...hop dimensions without them chasing me?"

Jheselbraum smiled. "Yes. You will still need to hide your identity, but so long as you are careful, you will be safe from the price on your head."

"Wow..." For a moment, Sophie fell as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "Wait, what about Bill? Did Ford destroy him?"

"Not yet, but he will soon."

Sophie furrowed her brow, trying to puzzle through what Jheselbraum had said as she began to feel drowsy. "So, Ford ended up in his home dimension instead of the Nightmare Realm?"

Jheselbraum chuckled. "So many questions. I will have to leave the telling of that tale to Stanford himself when you see him."

Sophie crossed her arms. "But I want to know now."

"You will know in time."

"Humph." Sophie's eyelids drooped.

"You are growing tired."

"'M fine."

Jheselbraum pulled up the blankets to Sophie's chin. "You need rest. I will come to check on you in a few hours."

Sophie grumbled that she wasn't tired even as her eyelids fell shut.

* * *

After a long recovery, Jheselbraum fit Sophie with a prosthetic to fill in where the lower half of her left leg used to be. Sophie struggled to re-learn how to walk, and finally, after losing count of how many times she tripped and fell, the day came when she didn't need crutches. She spent nearly every day training to get back into fighting shape; Jheselbraum had to constantly remind her not to push herself too much. Most evenings were spent sitting with Jheselbraum on one of the shrine's many balconies, watching the sun set over the surrounding mountains. She was watching a brilliant purple sunset one evening when Jheselbraum spoke up.

"You are thinking about Stanford again."

Sophie lifted an eyebrow. "When are you going to tell me that you can read minds?"

Jheselbraum smiled. "I don't need to; your body language tells me enough."

Sophie sighed. "Yeah, I guess so. I just...miss him, you know?"

Jheselbraum nodded. "Sometimes I miss him, too."

"Here was here for about a month, wasn't he?"

"Yes, he was that time."

Sophie furrowed her brow. "Wait...he was here multiple times?"

"No, but he wasn't the only Stanford Pines that I've helped. With infinite universes and infinite dimensions, there are several parallel versions of him throughout the multiverse. Those that end up outside their home dimension eventually find their way here."

Sophie mulled that over. "Wow, I never thought about that. Have other mes come here, too?"

Jheselbraum smiled. "I cannot tell you all my secrets."

"Aw, come on!" Sophie frowned. "I kind of hope that I'm the only one of me hopping dimensions," she muttered softly. "I wouldn't wish this on anyone."

"No one wants to suffer," Jheselbraum agreed, "but suffering often leads to growth."

Sophie sighed, watching the light fade from the sky. "I still wish I could have my family back."

Jheselbraum laid a hand on Sophie's shoulder. "And there is nothing wrong with that. I know that you would not have chosen to lose your home, but you have made the best of a difficult situation by finding the strength within yourself."

Sophie frowned. "Most of the time it doesn't feel that way."

"To survive as long as you have, and to still be kind, takes a great amount of strength."

Sophie let out a soft chuckle. "I wouldn't be this nice if it wasn't for Ford. You should give the credit to him."

"Not all; he may have inspired you, but you chose to follow his example." Jheselbraum rose from her seat. "Your time here is drawing to an end. You may stay here for one more night, but then you must resume your journey."

Sophie felt a jolt of panic. "But-but I like it here! And I-I'm…still a little wobbly on my leg sometimes! Can't I stay a little longer?"

Jheselbraum knelt in front of Sophie and placed both hands on her shoulders. "You have recovered enough to be ready for whatever comes. You need only to believe in yourself…and I know that you want to see Stanford again."

Sophie felt a lump in her throat. "I do, I really do, it's just…I don't want to leave you behind."

Jheselbraum pulled her into a hug. "I know. But your journey does not end here; this is only a resting place."

"Why can't you just come with me?"

Jheselbraum chuckled. "Someone needs to help all the accident-prone wanderers that travel the multiverse."

Sophie clung to the fabric of Jheselbraum's robe. "I'll miss you."

"I will miss you, as well." After a few more minutes, Jheselbraum rose and enveloped Sophie's hand in hers. "Come, you will need to rest for tomorrow."

Sophie had trouble sleeping that night. Thoughts and jumbled memories of the two years between losing Kira and finding Ford kept running through her head. Even without the threat of bounty hunters, solo multi-dimensional travel wasn't easy; and as much as Sophie wanted to find Ford again, there was no telling how long it would take. Still, Jheselbraum had told her that their time lines were linked across the multiverse. That had to mean that she would find him eventually…right?

* * *

 

Too soon, the morning came. Jheselbraum gave Sophie her pack, loaded with supplies.

Sophie gave Jheselbraum the biggest hug she could as emotion welled in her chest. "Thanks, Jhess, for everything. I'll-I'll never forget you."

Jheselbraum squeezed back. "My brave Sophia. The only difficulty of helping others is that eventually, I must let them go on to continue their journeys." She pulled back and knelt so her gaze was level with Sophie's. "Stay true to yourself, follow you instincts, and don't forget to be kind."

Sophie's throat tightened. "Okay." A tear rolled down her cheek and Jheselbraum brushed it away with her thumb.

"I know goodbyes are difficult for you, but you are strong. You are brave. You will find Stanford and I will still be here, alive and well." Jheselbraum stood and handed Sophie the portal gun that had gotten her and Ford through so many dimensions. "Your journey awaits."

Sophie swiped her eyes and took a deep breath. It was going to be okay. She would find Ford. It was going to be okay. _I can do this._ She pulled up her hood, scarf, and goggles. Resisting the urge to look back, she pulled the trigger on the portal gun and stepped through the swirling blue disk.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, space moms are the best. Jheselbraum's characterization was heavily influenced by the lovely embulalia and her fic "Drastic Measures." Comments and kudos are always appreciated! :D


	13. Epilogue

"How close are we to that…weird thing that you've been tracking, again?"

Ford squinted at the device in his hand through the thick, swirling snowflakes. "We're almost there, Stanley. Just a little further and we'll be right on top if it."

Stan tugged his coat closer. "You know you're kind of nuts tracking this thing through a blizzard, right?"

"Well, our GPS should guide us back just fine, so we're in no danger of being lost...aha! There it is!" Ford pointed ahead of them. A purple, irregular line glowed through the falling snow and slowly expanded into a larger shape.

Stan gaped. "What the heck is that thing?"

Ford tensed. "It's…it's a wormhole into another dimension." The shape grew and a small, dark-clad figure stepped out. The wormhole closed behind them. Ford pocketed his device and drew his gun. The weather immediately cleared and left Stan, Ford, and the mysterious stranger staring each other down in tense silence.

"Ford?"

Ford felt like the air had been sucked from his lungs. The voice was muffled, but impossibly familiar. The figure reached up and removed her scarf and goggles, revealing long red hair framing a face he had never expected to see again. He lowered his gun. "Sophie?"

* * *

Sophie gaped. She had traveled through several dimensions, met other men named Stanford Pines, who all looked exactly like Stanford Pines, but none of them knew her. Most of them had been friendly, but it just wasn't the same; eventually they would move on and go their separate ways while Sophie would continue her search. And finally, _finally _,__ after nearly two years, she found the Stanford Pines that knew her name.

She wanted to laugh and cry and jump and shout all at once, and hug Ford and tell him how much she had missed him, but all she felt capable of at the moment was standing speechless as tears formed in her eyes. She stepped forward, arms outstretched, but froze when Ford's expression hardened and he leveled his gun.

"Stay back."

Sophie stopped, confusion mingling with hurt. "Ford, what - "

"Stop it! Stop talking like you're her!"

The other man who looked nearly identical to Ford ( _Stanley_ , her mind supplied) placed a hand on Ford's shoulder. "Easy Sixer, what's going on?"

"It's a shapeshifter," said Ford darkly.

 _Oh._ "Ford, I'm not-"

"Stop! Of all the faces you could have stolen to trick me, that was the worst choice," Ford seethed. "Sophie's dead; I saw her die. You can't possibly be her."

Sophie felt a lump in her throat as she watched Ford struggle to contain his emotions. She wracked her brain for something, anything to say to convince him that it was really her. She tried to force a smile. "Come on, you can't af-Ford to shoot me. I won't Stan-ford it."

Stan laughed awkwardly. "You've gotta admit, that was pretty good."

Ford blinked, showing a spark of recognition, but kept his gun raised. "I need more proof; I need to be absolutely certain that it's you."

Sophie looked Ford in the eye. "My ex wife still misses me..."

"But her aim is gettin' better!" Stan cut in. "That's a classic, Ford, you told her that joke?"

Ford didn't budge. "We used that too many times; it could have been recorded."

Sophie threw up her hands in desperation. "What do you want from me, Ford? What can I say that will prove to you that it's really me?"

Ford narrowed his eyes. "Describe the last time you saw me."

Sophie tensed. "Is there something else I could - "

"No. Only the real Sophie would be able to accurately describe that."

Sophie took a deep breath. "We were running through a ship wreck. A few bounty hunters were chasing us, and there were three that we couldn't shake. We were just about to get to a wormhole to the Nightmare Realm, but I threw a grenade to stop the bounty hunters. The explosion made the ship fall apart right behind us. There was no way we were both going to make it, but you still reached out your hand."

Ford slightly lowered his gun, his face a mixture of emotions. "Then what?"

"I...I pushed you."

Ford's eyes widened in shocked disbelief, but his gun was still raised. "Why?"

"Because…" Sophie bit her lip. "Because you came back for me. You always came back for me, even when I didn't deserve it. I guess...about the time I met you, I'd pretty much convinced myself that showing compassion was showing weakness and wouldn't do me any favors, but then you came back for me, and I was totally thrown off, because-because here was this old guy who had spent half his life hopping dimensions, who had every right to be bitter and selfish, but instead of running off and leaving me in the dust, he risked his life to save a random teenage bounty hunter that he barely knew. And like, you could have turned me in so many times, but you never did. I guess…I guess the reason that I pushed you is because you saved me in more ways than I could count, and it was about time that I returned the favor - oof!"

Ford nearly bowled Sophie over with a bear hug and held her close. "How - how could you have possibly survived? You were buried under a pile of rusted metal and when I scanned for lifeforms, I only picked up your vitals for a few seconds before it indicated that you - that you had - " His words choked off.

Sophie sniffled and squeezed back. "I missed you, smart guy."

"But how are you here? I thought I'd lost you for good."

She smiled, her cheek pressed against Ford's coat. "Two words: Dimension 52."

"Jheselbraum..."

"Heh, yeah. She fixed me up with a cool leg upgrade and sent me to find you."

Ford pulled back. "Leg upgrade?"

"Oh yeah, check it out." Sophie pulled up her left pant leg and showed off the bionic prosthetic attached just below her knee. "Pretty cool right? Nearly cost me an arm and a leg, but - "

"You - you lost your leg?"

"Yeah, but it's not that big of a deal. I mean it was at first, but once I got the hang of it it hasn't slowed me down."

"But - "

"Ford, it's fine. It's great, actually! I finally found you!"

"Sixer?" Stanley stood with his arms crossed. "What the heck is going on?"

"Well, this is - "

"Sophie Kardos, but don't tell anyone that if they come looking for me." She held out her hand with a crooked grin. "Sometimes I go by Legolas, since that kind of half-way fits."

Stan laughed and shook her hand. "Not bad, space kid. Where did my brother find you?"

Sophie cringed. "We...didn't meet on the best of terms. I kinda sorta tried to turn him in for bounty..."

"But it turned out fine," Ford cut in quickly.

"Yeah. Basically, he saved my butt, I saved his, we became this awesome duo of interdimensional outlaws and traveled the multiverse as space buddies."

"Well, there are a lot more details than that."

"But we can get to that later. What are you doing in this frozen wasteland, anyway?"

"Ah, yes! Stanley and I have been sailing the world, studying anomalies, and we picked up some pretty strong signals from this area so we came here to check it out."

Stan stuffed his hands in his coat pockets. "Well, now that we know it was space kid here, let's get back to the boat before we all freeze. Then we can talk about your adventures, or whatever."

Sophie grinned. "Yeah, Ford, you can tell us all about the M dimension."

Ford shot her a look. "Not until I show you what color we painted the boat."

Sophie's smile disappeared. "You didn't."

"Orange."

Sophie tried to frown but her eyes twinkled. "How close is it to the nearest port?"

Ford laughed and slung one arm around Sophie and the other around Stan, and together they made their way to the Stan O' War II. Sophie was relieved to see that the boat wasn't actually painted orange.

* * *

Sophie lay in a pile of spare blankets on the floor of the Stan O' War II, listening to Stan's snores, Ford's quiet breathing and the waves lapping at the hull of the boat. She had spent the evening laughing with the twins and exchanging stories. Ford was happier than she had ever seen him. He had lost that hunted, wary look that was always there when he had traveled the multiverse, and Stan...she had wondered what the one in this dimension would be like. Ford had rarely talked about him, but from what she did know they hadn't left on good terms. But now, the brothers had made up. Sophie remembered the old photo of Ford and Stan when they were kids and smiled. Ford was finally home. And because there was no double of her in this dimension, so was she.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOHOOOOOO! IT'S DONE! Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed and left kudos! :D This is the main part for what I like to call the "Space Buddies AU," and if you want to check out my art from this I have a tumblr blog under the same username. Just search "gbds" in the tags and it will come up. A few more notes on Sophie's story:
> 
> She sails to Gravity Falls with the Stans and meets Dipper, Mabel and everyone else. The younger twins take her along on their adventures as the "responsible adult" (lol). Dipper lets her borrow his books and is thrilled that he has someone else to geek out with. Mabel re-introduces her to girly things and drags her into sleepovers (which she ends up loving).
> 
> Sophie and Ford get together to make fireworks for every Pines Family Fourth of July. Something always ends up exploding when it's not supposed to. Sophie uses every opportunity to make a joke along the lines of, "At least my leg is still attached. Wait..." (removes prosthetic) "...not any more!"
> 
> She starts a knife-throwing side show at the Mystery Shack and ends up starting her own business selling custom knives. She totally becomes a big sister to Wendy and they bond over boys, knife throwing, axe throwing, hikes in he woods, etc.
> 
> It takes Sophie awhile to adjust to staying in one place in a dimension that isn't quite like the one she lost, but her new bunch of family and friends help her to finally feel like she's home. (Stan forges her some documents to make it official.)


End file.
